Suicide of transgender youth in Holland raises questions

by Todd A. Heywood

11/08/2007

HOLLAND -

The October 29 suicide of 16-year-old transgender Ian Benson has the LBGT community asking hard questions.

"As parents, this is one of our worst fears," said Collette Beighley, Triangle Foundations West Michigan operative. "Our worst fear is that some of our kids will end up like Matthew Shepard, but sometimes we have to remember the pain is so intense that they take their own lives."

Beighley knew Benson, and her daughter called Benson her best friend. Beighley organized a memorial vigil for Benson last week, but the questions about why Benson took his life remain. Benson was well liked and his family accepted him for who he was. In fact, his mother started a national group to support families dealing with transgender children. Something that did not exist before.

"All I can say is that the Trevor Project statistics are startling," Beighley said. The Trevor Project estimates that one out of two transgenders will attempt to take their lives, with many succeeding. "Supportive parents have a lot to worry about. They have to worry about not only the external forces but the internal conflicts that arise for these kids."

Dr. Julie Nemecek knows the internal conflicts all too well. A year ago, as she was struggling to keep her job at Spring Arbor University and transition into a woman, it almost became too overwhelming. She talks of sitting in her living room with a gun in hand, suicide note written. She stopped herself because she thought of her family and what her suicide would do to them.

"What is terribly difficult is to explain how your mind works differently," said Nemecek. "Not even why, but how."

She said the issues around gender are difficult because American culture is built on a two gender model, leaving little room for cross over. "It makes it difficult and painful when you have to fit into a mold that is not of your making."

Beighley concurs. "I think there is nothing in our society which prepares transgenders. We are taught how to be a boy or a girl, and that is not fool proof," Beighley said. "There is no reference point. . . .

On TV, being gay is so passé; now transexuals are in

By Roger Catlin

The Hartford Courant

PREV of NEXT

Miriam, of "There's Something About Miriam," has a secret from her castmates.

Gay people on TV are old hat.

By now, Entertainment Weekly reports, 61 percent of college freshmen, who grew up with "Will & Grace," approve of gay marriage. The finding in the national poll is up 10 percentage points from a decade ago.

A turn around the dial will bring you gay story lines in daytime soap operas, same-sex dating on MTV shows such as "Next" and "A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila," and prominent gay characters in ABC's "Brothers & Sisters" and several cable shows — FX's "Nip/Tuck," HBO's "The Wire" and Showtime's "The L Word."

Suspected of being gay is no longer the guaranteed laugh it was on TV anymore, even on macho shows like "Two and a Half Men." And straight characters such as George on "Grey's Anatomy" or Barney on "How I Met Your Mother" can be credible, though they are played by gay men.

No, to add shock to TV shows in 2007, writers have turned to transsexuals.

On prime-time dramas

How surprising was it last season on "Ugly Betty" when Alex, the long-lost brother of Mode magazine editor-in-chief Daniel Mead, returned as Alexis, who was not only a woman but a woman who looks like Rebecca Romijn (exactly like her, as it turned out)?

A story line over the summer on "Entourage" involved Johnny Drama trying to get in good with the mayor of Beverly Hills by hooking him up with what appeared to be a beautiful woman at a trendy bar. Her pre-op secret was revealed in one of those skirt flash shots the paparazzi so love. But the mayor (Stephen Tobolowsky) decided he liked his exotic new acquaintance anyway.

Another politician on a TV series who decided to stick with his transsexual is William Baldwin's Patrick Darling on ABC's "Dirty Sexy Money." Though a married New York state attorney general running for U.S. Senate, he is determined to continue his illicit relationship with Carmelita, despite entreaties from his family lawyer.

Carmelita, a sultry blonde with a very low voice, is notable because she might be broadcast TV's first recurring transsexual character who actually is played by a transsexual. She is played by Candis Cayne, whose previous credits include "Wigstock: The Movie," "To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar" and an episode of "CSI: New York."

A transsexual story line also occurs early on another new ABC series, "Big Shots," in which divorced cosmetics CEO Duncan Collinsworth, played by Dylan McDermott, hooks up with a transsexual prostitute at a rest stop — a tryst that threatens his career when the story gets out.

Even as more daytime talk shows take a more serious look at transsexuals, including an October episode of "Oprah Winfrey," some in the transgender community are not encouraged by TV's tendency to depict transsexual women, especially those of color, as prostitutes. The only transsexual women who so far escape that profession are white. . . .

Tears Dry on Their Own - Amy Winehouse

When Rock Daily caught wind that casting agents were seeking “beautiful Asian transgender women” to star in Amy Winehouse’s David LaChapelle-directed video for “Tears Dry On Their Own,” we had visions of the saucy British soulster making her very own Crying Game. Alas, the finished project is pretty tame — a jilted but resilient Winehouse makes her way past a cast of colorful characters during a particularly harrowing stroll down Hollywood Boulevard. But if Winehouse (who’s partial to flamboyant makeup, herself) had taken a few cues from Hollywood, the plot could have been far more dramatic:

* Winehouse’s car breaks down, so she arrives at the doorstep of a creepy mansion where she sings and dances with a crowd of transgendered folks until everything goes wrong …

* On a road trip to a drag show in California, Winehouse experiences car trouble, so she and her traveling companions fight adversity in the small town they’re stranded in until they’re loved and respected by all.

* A small newspaper names one of Winehouse’s pals the Filthiest Person in the World, which draws the ire of a crazy neighboring family that sells babies on the black market. Somebody dies, somebody chows down on a pile of excrement and … scene. . . .

Comments

The new closet

November 9, 2007

A revolution of indeterminacy or a clever marketing ploy? Either way, ambiguity is back in fashion, writes Guy Blackman.

It was Space Oddity-era David Bowie, with his dazzling orange hair and peroxide eyebrows, who turned ambiguous sexuality into prime pop capital. Back in the early '70s, Bowie and associates Lou Reed, Marc Bolan and Freddie Mercury titillated teen audiences with their daring ambivalence, setting the scene for a decade of glam and glitter in which hairy men in spandex were a disturbingly common sight.

Now, 35 years later, it seems that ambiguity is back. British artists such as Lebanon-born Mika and precocious, flame-haired Patrick Wolf lead a new pop pansexuality making flamboyant, lyrically suggestive music but refusing to discuss their private lives.

With a rich British legacy including glam, new romantic and Morrissey's back catalogue behind them, Mika and Wolf are knowing and referential while in the US a less self-conscious equal is Antony Hegarty of Antony and the Johnsons and bearded folk oddball Devendra Banhart.

Hegarty's songs have lines such as "one day I'll grow up, I'll be a beautiful woman" and his personal imagery involves elements of androgyny and transvestism, while Banhart's latest promo shots pay tribute to '70s San Francisco hippie drag troupe the Cockettes. He dresses skimpily in a jewelled bra, plastic fruit pinned to his underwear and colourful make-up lining his eyes and forehead.

None of these artists publicly identify as gay or straight, preferring to shroud their proclivities in mystery and enigma. But is all this ambiguity indicative of a new 21st century sexual fluidity, or does it just reflect a cannibalistic music industry, returning to the playful ambivalence of earlier decades for the sake of sales?

Hegarty takes an optimistic view, believing that youth are discarding rigid sexual definitions and seeking role models who reflect their indeterminacy.

"The new kids are very polymorphous," Hegarty says. "They seem really open-minded. They're not preoccupied with difference or separateness, which I find really refreshing."

For Hegarty, the '80s AIDS crisis put artistic joie de vivre temporarily on hold, and it took another disaster almost 20 years later to shock cultural producers back to vivid life.

"People are moving towards something that's sincere, they're not interested in cynicism, which really differentiates itself from my generation," says the 36-year-old.

"In America with the World Trade Centre, I felt like that was the crack in New York City, and then a year later everything started to weirdly flourish. Everyone woke up again - that's my theory."

But the Gossip's "fat, feminist, lesbian" lead singer Beth Ditto, who famously grew up eating squirrels in Judsonia, Arkansas, thinks differently.

To her, Hegarty's optimism could only exist in a city like New York, a zone of urban tolerance that hardly extends beyond city limits. "It's a really easy way to look at things," Ditto says.

"I know that in small-town Arkansas, it's not like that at all. I have a little sister who's a flaming bisexual and she gets a lot of f---ing shit for it."

She questions whether this decade has seen a new sexual permissiveness in pop music.

"There've always been queers in music," she says. "Little Richard created rock'n'roll - I mean, nothing's gayer than that! In the '80s you had New Wave but you also had hair metal and no matter what you say, that was queer as hell. And the literal meaning of 'punk' is a gay man, so gay is synonymous with punk. It's hard to know if it's any different now than it always has been." . . .

Many in Bay Area call anti-bias measure an act of betrayal

Thursday, November 8, 2007

National civil rights organizations are celebrating the passage by the House of legislation that would add "sexual orientation" to a list of federally protected classes, but some San Francisco groups refuse to take part in the party.

The vote Wednesday on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, also known as ENDA, postponed several times, was ultimately revised to remove protection for transgender workers, which upset gay rights groups here and across the country. Democratic leaders said the removal was necessary to get the act passed. But more than 300 lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender leaders opposed the exclusion, saying it is unfair and sends the wrong message.

"People are livid," said John Newsome, co-founder of And Castro for All, a bias awareness group. "If the first step out of the gate leaves people behind, it is an ill-conceived first step."

The Human Rights Campaign, the NAACP, the Anti-Defamation League and the Leadership Conference on Civil Rights supported the revised bill, saying an incremental approach is sometimes necessary, and that the move marks a step forward.

"We are happy for our lesbian and gay brothers and sisters and understand that we are making legislative progress, but we feel that there is a lot of work still to be done," said Cecilia Chung, deputy director of San Francisco's Transgender Law Center. "We are disappointed that this version is not all-inclusive." . . .

VA system issues memo on treating trans vets

by Ethan Jacobs
staff reporter
Thursday Nov 8, 2007

With little to no fanfare the Veteran Affairs (VA) Boston Healthcare System issued a patient care memorandum to its staff in September detailing guidelines for providing care to transgender patients. Advocates describe the memo as a landmark achievement in transgender healthcare and say it is the first known case of a VA system demonstrating in writing its commitment to creating an inclusive and welcoming environment for transgender veterans.

"The thing is there are other facilities that are doing what is in this policy," said Monica Helms, president of the Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA). "The difference is these other places don’t have a written policy, so it’s almost like the doctors that are there who treat transgender individuals, they decided this is how they’re going to do it, and the only difference is Boston decided to put it down on paper."

She said she knows of about a dozen other VA hospitals and healthcare systems that provide inclusive healthcare for transgender patients, but TAVA has been pushing for them to put that policy in writing, and the Boston VA system is the first they know of to do so.

Diego Sanchez, former co-chair of the Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition (MTPC), praised the memo’s author, VA clinical psychologist Dr. Jillian Shipherd, for her commitment to ensuring that transgender patients receive adequate healthcare throughout the entire VA Boston Healthcare System. About 10 years ago when he was serving as director of JRI Health’s TransHealth Education and Development Program, Sanchez said Shipherd contacted him and asked him to do staff trainings at the Jamaica Plain VA hospital. Sanchez and Holly Ryan, now co-chair of MTPC, did a series of trainings for the staff focused on three areas: General trans healthcare and barriers to care, HIV prevention for trans patients and mental health and substance abuse issues in the trans community. By about 2000 Sanchez said he began receiving positive feedback from trans patients about the treatment they received at the VA, particularly after the VA added an option for patients to identify as transgender on medical forms and began the practice of referring to patients according to their chosen name and gender pronoun.

Sanchez said by putting basic standards of care for transgender patients in writing, Shipherd has ensured that all providers in the Boston VA system understand their obligation to transgender patients.

"I’m absolutely delighted that she is able to do that at this time, and the reason is because policies require that everyone is competent," said Sanchez. . . .

TIME: The Gender Conundrum

Illustration for TIME by James Worrell

Thursday, Nov. 08, 2007 By LAURA FITZPATRICK

It's a parent's nightmare dilemma: experts say there's a fifty-fifty chance your child will attempt suicide before age 20. Should you opt for an experimental medical treatment that might prevent it? Parents of children whom experts call gender variant are faced with just that question. If a child doesn't identify with his or her biological sex, the onset of puberty, says Laura Amato, a youth-suicide counselor who runs an online transgender support group, can make that child feel like "part of a real-life horror story ... because the wrong parts are changing."

No reliable data exist on how many U.S. children are gender variant, although the National Center for Transgender Equality estimates that as many as 3 million American adults are. But studies suggest that gender-variant adolescents are two to three times more likely to attempt suicide than other teens. Now, increasingly, hormone treatments that delay physical maturity are being seen as a lifesaving alternative for gender-variant kids, but the remedy is also generating medical and ethical questions about interfering with the natural development process. The treatment--a series of injections to interrupt the brain cascade that launches puberty by regulating gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH)--has not yet been submitted for FDA approval for gender-variant children. But it is available from international physicians and some U.S. doctors prescribing off-label. In February the first U.S. clinic for gender-variant children opened at Children's Hospital Boston. . . .

New York Plays Key Role in Fight for Transgender Rights

by Andy Humm
November 2007

As the debate over civil rights protections on the basis of “gender identity and expression” heated up in Congress, five of New York City’s members in the House of Representative voted against the federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act on November 7 because it does not cover transgendered people. At the same time, pressure is building in Albany for at least the Democrat-controlled Assembly to add gender identity to the state human rights law, which incorporated protections for gay people in 2002 while defeating an amendment covering people of transgender experience. In New York City, where the city law has covered gender identity since 2002, transgendered people still encounter persistent discrimination, putting this new civil rights measure to the test.
The City Law

New York City was late among major cities in adding sexual orientation to its human rights law. It did not pass what was known as the “gay rights bill” until 1986 and took until 2002 to add gender identity. Michael Silverman, executive director of the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund called the city law “great,” but said, “That doesn’t mean we don’t have a long way to go.”

Silverman said that while much of the discrimination that many New Yorkers experience tends to be subtle, people who are transgendered still are subject to discrimination that is “so obvious and degrading” that it is hard to believe.

He is handling a complaint now from a person whose license was marked “M” for male even though she presents as a woman. When she showed identification to get served in a bar, the manager said, “Your ID says male. I can’t accept that.”

“ It’s certainly OK to ask to see an ID to verify a person’s age,” Silverman said, but it illegal to discriminate based on gender identity or expression. In response to her compliant, a police officer went to the bar on the border of Chelsea and Greenwich Village. Although sympathetic, the officer said, “We can’t do anything.”

On the last Sunday in June, Khadijah Farmer, a lesbian with close-cropped hair, was using the women’s restroom at the Caliente Cab Company in the Village when a male bouncer burst in and banged on her stall door demanding that she leave. Farmer said she tried to show the man her license identifying her as female, but the bouncer wouldn’t look at it. He threw Farmer and her friends out, making them pay for food they had just started eating. Ironically the incident took place on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Day just south of Sheridan Square where the Stonewall Rebellion launched the modern gay movement in 1969.

Representatives of the restaurant deny Farmer’s version of events, but refuse to offer one of their own. The Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund is suing the Caliente Cab Company and transgendered people and their supporters have picketed it. The establishment has not, however, been put out business by an angry community

Melissa Sklarz, a veteran transgender political activist, served on a committee at the City Human Rights Commission that worked on guidelines for implementing the city transgender rights law and believes “more and more people are aware of the law now.” But, she said, “For the law to work, we need courageous people like Khadijah Farmer who are willing to stand up.”

As the Farmer case illustrates, you do not have to be a transsexual or a transitioning transperson to need the protection under the category of gender identity and expression. Farmer says she is happy being a woman, even if her style of dress and grooming lead some people to mistake her for a man. Indeed, we all cross traditional gender boundaries in small and sometimes large ways, from women who wear pants and men who wear makeup to women who fight wars and men who won’t.

Beyond the question of discrimination, these issues have very practical implications, particularly in this era when everyone must constantly show identification. Joann Prinzivalli, director of the New York Transgender Rights Organization and a transwoman, has a driver’s license that says “female.” The license was issued before 2002 when people had to have completed transgender surgery to be identified in accordance with their identity and not their biology. New York State will also change the designation on a birth certificate if one is post-operative.

But Prinzivalli’s passport still says “male” and by 2013, we are all going need a passport or federal REAL ID for air travel even within the United States and to enter federal buildings. In those cases, her gender presentation will not line up with how she is identified on her papers. “I’ll be shut out of air transportation,” she said. In the politically explosive debate over identification documents mostly dealing with undocumented immigrants, the concerns of transpeople are not considered.
Legislature Resists Transgender Protections

The Republican-led New York State Senate finally added sexual orientation to the state human rights law in 2002. But the Senate remains resistant to protecting transgendered people. It will not take up school anti-bullying legislation that includes sexual orientation and gender identity. Senate Majority Leader Joseph Bruno has said he is not interested in protecting, as he put it, “transvestites.” The Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act has not so much as had a hearing in his house.

For its part, the Democrat-dominated Assembly voted to open up marriage to same-sex couples earlier this year. However the Assembly, under Speaker Sheldon Silver, has refused to take up amending the state human rights law to add “gender identity and expression.” . . .

UK program on FtM and MtF

Media Matters

By Jacob Anderson-Minshall
November 1, 2007

Singer-songwriter and guitarist Daan Erikson likes to joke about his musical career: “I was in an all-girl band in high school - until I ruined that.” Coming out as a trans guy may have put an end to his garage band but it’s opened the door to a great deal more. Today, the New York University sophomore - who is majoring in both Entertainment Media and Gender and Sexuality Studies - says his experience with the band continues to influence his endeavors. “My interest in the power of media stems from my love of music and the realization that it has power.”

Erikson, who was recently awarded a Point Foundation scholarship to continue his studies, eventually hopes to improve realistic representations of queer people in the entertainment media world. “Creating awareness is the first step,” he explains. “I’m interested in how the media portrays identity.

I’ve been studying marketing and plan to study entertainment law. I think it’s a matter of getting more queer and trans faces on TV outside of spectacle-style talk shows, both in the form of scripted characters and real people. Generally stereotypes become less relevant when there is more diverse representation of different identities. I think that’s already happening to some extent, but there’s a long way to go.”

Erikson is particular focused on television where he sees real problems in the representations of trans people, especially Max on The L Word’s third season, and “any Jerry Springer episode.” Still, he thinks the producers of The L Word redeemed the Max character in the show’s fourth season; and he’s appreciative of the Sundance’s miniseries TransGeneration. “When I came out to my supervisor… she had some knowledge of what it means to be a young transguy thanks to… that miniseries.”

Erikson came out relatively young, but he contends, “It took so long for me to come to terms with identifying as male, partially [because of] a lack of varied representation in the media. When all I saw were bearded, body builder types, I couldn’t relate.” Now, he says, “I can see that standards of masculinity are shifting.”

He identifies as transgender and transmasculine, and says, “I like the label ‘transguy’ best. I identify…as queer because of my attraction for queer females. It’s always interesting explaining to people why I identify as a guy and like girls yet don’t identify as straight.”

Seeing commonalities with non-trans men, Erikson remarks, “In talking to some of my guy friends who aren’t trans, I’ve found that they share a similar struggle. When does one become a man? I believe we have so many words for our different identities because these ideas are complicated. But not difficult.”

Being trans, Erikson says, has impacted his awareness of gender, identities and privilege. “I’m…more conscious of issues surrounding privilege and multiple identities. It certainly has given me a different perspective into the idea that you never know everything about people by how they appear.”
He thinks assumptions based on appearances often occur across generation too, but insists, “It’s unfair to assume that older generations in the LGBT community don’t know about young people.” However, he admits, there are differences. “I find people of my generation to be more open-minded and willing to consider progressive ideas. People are happy to let people identify however they want, so long as no one else’s rights are infringed upon.”

When it comes to political activism, Erikson says, “Young people in general are used to an entirely different type of activism. We’re coming from a different place. I read about the Civil Rights Movement in a history textbook, but I didn’t experience it first-hand. With the advent of the Internet, we’re more connected in ways that were previously impossible. To get more in touch with the younger members of the queer community, it’s important to remember that.” . . .

House bill bans job bias against gays

Measure would exempt churches and military, doesn't cover transgender

By ANDREW MIGA, November 8, 2007

WASHINGTON -- The House on Wednesday approved the first federal ban on job discrimination against gays, lesbians and bisexuals.

Passage of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act came despite protests from some gay rights supporters that the bill does not protect transgender workers. That term covers transsexuals, cross-dressers and others whose outward appearance does not match their gender at birth.

The measure would make it illegal for employers to make decisions about hiring, firing, promoting or paying an employee based on sexual orientation. It would exempt churches and the military.

After the 235-184 vote, supporters are expecting a tough fight in the narrowly divided Senate, where Massachusetts Democrat Edward Kennedy plans to introduce a similar version.

A veto from President Bush is expected if the proposal does pass the Senate. The White House has cited constitutional concerns and said the proposal could trample religious rights.

Backers of the House bill proclaimed it a major civil rights advance for gays. "Bigotry and homophobia are sentiments that should never be allowed to permeate the American workplace," said House Majority Whip James Clyburn, D-S.C.

The decision by Democratic leaders to exclude protections based on gender identity created sharp divisions in the party and among gay rights activists.

Republicans, meanwhile, said the bill could undermine the rights of people who oppose homosexuality for religious reasons and lead to an onslaught of dubious discrimination lawsuits.

"This is, frankly, a trial lawyer's dream," said Rep. John Kline, R-Minn.

Protections for transgender workers were in the original bill. But Democratic leaders found they would lose support from moderate and conservative Democrats by including transgender employees in the final bill.

"That's a bridge too far," said Rep. Rick Boucher, D-Va. "It's better to take it one step at a time."

Rep. Jerrold Nadler, however, said excluding transgender workers was shortsighted.

"As we have seen in many states, the failure to include the transgender community in civil rights legislation from the beginning makes it more difficult to extend protections later," said Nadler, D-N.Y. . . .

JEANNE PHILLIPS DEAR ABBY: Let transgender brother have his say

DEAR ABBY: “Anonymous in Arizona” was wondering how to explain to her future children that their father’s brother was born a girl, particularly in childhood photos in which he appears as a girl. While most of your reply was sound — especially how transgendered people are born in the wrong body — I disagree with your advice about the photo albums.

As a transgendered man, I’d be mortified if I knew a photo of me in dresses and pigtails from my youth was included in a family album for my son to see. But I also know many transpeople who wouldn’t mind at all.

It would be reasonable for her husband to approach his brother privately and ask his feelings on the issue. If John doesn’t mind childhood photos in an album, then great. If he does, however, then Anonymous should do her best to find ones of her husband only or have the pictures cropped. — Michigan Transguy

DEAR MICHIGAN TRANSGUY: Many readers agreed with you that the wisest course of action would be to talk to John for his input. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Although the subject is “something that is never mentioned,” the writer’s husband needs to sit down with his brother and discuss the matter. Surely John has anticipated these things from early on in his new life, and a psychiatrist most likely prepared him for it before he even had the gender reassignment surgery. Ignoring it is probably the worst thing for everyone. — San Jose, Calif., Reader

DEAR ABBY: Anonymous shouldn’t be so sure that John doesn’t know she knows. Most spouses discuss their childhoods with each other, and John probably assumes that his brother had told her about his history.

At some point the children will ask more questions, as will adults. Most transpeople are open about their gender, and Anonymous can use the photo album as an opportunity to teach, as you stated, that John was always male. People need to hear this message so that they, too, can understand. — Libby in Atlanta

DEAR ABBY: I’m also a transman (born in a female body). It was refreshing to read such a sensible reply. Most often, we transgendered folk are treated as freaks, even though it has been proven that gender is determined by what is between your ears, not between your legs. — Mikhail in Grand Rapids . . .

Finding her true self

After difficult metamorphosis, transsexual woman just wants to fit in

Richard Ruelas
The Arizona Republic
Nov. 8, 2007 12:00 AM

It sounds odd coming from a person whose large hoop earrings dangle near her Adam's apple, who brushes her long blond hair away from her face with man-size hands and who, despite the strain to raise her tone, still speaks as a tenor. But Michele de LaFreniere, like other transgender individuals, desperately wants to fit in.

She has become a high-profile symbol for the Phoenix area's transgender community, becoming involved in a possible discrimination action against a Scottsdale nightclub. But she is not looking to be singled out. Just the opposite.

De LaFreniere does not want the public to see her as a man who had surgery to become a woman. She just wants to be seen as a woman.

Unfortunately, I'm 6 feet tall, so people are like, 'Ooooh,' " she said. "Whatever."

De LaFreniere knows people stare. She knows people probably think she's a freak. That she's just a guy in a dress.

She's not. What she is, however, is difficult for people to wrap their minds around. She's a transsexual and, more broadly, a transgender individual.

Transgender people feel as if their body doesn't match the sex their brain feels it is. Transsexuals take the step of getting surgery to correct that mismatch.

The umbrella category of gender-identity disorder has been accepted as a medical condition by mental-health professionals, but not by society at large. It's easier to laugh than to understand.

But for those experiencing it, feeling that you were born the wrong gender is torture.

"I don't like being transsexual," de LaFreniere said.

Since living openly as a woman, she has had a divorce, paid for hours of therapy, had an expensive overseas surgery with plans for at least one more and, most recently, became persona non grata at her favorite nightspot. . . .

Transgender television anchor

See

Boy, Interrupted

It can happen wordlessly, as in a women’s restroom, where I sometimes catch a fellow patron’s gaze tracking from my face to my breasts and back again, her attitude one of idle curiosity or confusion, occasionally disgust or hostility.

By Teresa Morrison

November 6, 2007

For days, sometimes weeks at a time, I bask in a cozy headspace where I don’t think about my gender and, more important, no one points it out to me. When the reverie is broken, it is almost invariably by a stranger. It can happen wordlessly, as in a women’s restroom, where I sometimes catch a fellow patron’s gaze tracking from my face to my breasts and back again, her attitude one of idle curiosity or confusion, occasionally disgust or hostility.

It can happen indirectly, as when I was once within earshot of a (gay) man who, indicating me, hissed, “What is that supposed to be?” He happened to be speaking to a friend of mine, who heroically replied, “She’s whatever you need her to be.”

It can happen more directly, as when a clerk quite innocently calls me sir, then, noting his gaffe, showers me in pardons and sorrys, not realizing that his apologies make me far more uncomfortable than any mistaken appellation. Confusion I can take, even hostility, but I resent this notion that how others perceive my gender should -- or does -- matter to me.

Why are we so hysterical about this social construct called gender anyway?

Merriam-Webster defines the concept as “the behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with one sex.” Which is a little limiting, don’t you think, considering that there are just the two sexes to choose from? And considering that those two options are in turn not widely accepted as optional at all -- unless you happen to have been born intersexed.

Actually, scratch that; intersexuals aren’t given any more slack than the rest of us. Longstanding protocols call for the immediate disambiguation of gender obscurity from the moment of birth. The September 2006 “Consensus Statement on the Management of Intersex Disorders” asserts, “Initial gender uncertainty is unsettling and stressful for families. Expediting a thorough assessment and decision is required.” And so it is that, taking into account a newborn’s genes, hormones, genitalia, potential for fertility, and family’s wishes, doctors make their best guess as to whether the little XXXY will want to live his or her adult life as a man or a woman.

Given the fail rate of explicitly male or female plumbing in predicting whether a child will want to live his or her adult life as a man or a woman, doesn’t it seem a bit reckless to trust the informed guesses of doctors when biology has itself abstained? . . .

Laydee? I’m Wonder Woman

By NADIA BROOKS

6 Nov 2007

LITTLE Britain star David Walliams has revealed he pretended to be WONDER WOMAN as a child.

David, 36, also admitted he would be a TRANSVESTITE if he did not already get to wear women’s clothes for the comedy show.

While boys often play as male superheroes like Spider-Man, he said: “I embraced my feminine side and wanted to be Wonder Woman in the playground.”

The look, complete with tight shorts, would make Only Gay in the Village character Daffyd hot under the collar.

David is famous as Little Britain’s naff tranny Emily “I’m a laydee” Howard.

And he said: “I might be a transvestite if I wasn’t dressing up on the show.

“A friend has invited me to a transvestite club – and I’ll go, in darkness. I’d like to do it properly with good make-up and a nice dress.”

“I don’t do anything by halves.”

David told Radio Times he has problems convincing women he is straight – despite being linked to beauties including Abi Titmuss.

He said: “I’m camp. It’d be easier to be gay.

“I wouldn’t have to persuade women I’m not.

Italy Transgender MP Can`t Be Bridesmaid

A Catholic priest has blocked an Italian transgender parliamentarian from being a bridesmaid at a relative`s wedding.

A Catholic priest has blocked an Italian transgender parliamentarian from being a bridesmaid at a relative's wedding, drawing protest from her political party.

Vladimir Luxuria, who was born male but wears women's clothing and prefers to be called "she", said she had been asked by her cousin to be the bridesmaid at her Catholic wedding, to be held at an ancient sanctuary in Foggia, southern Italy.

But Father Francesco, the sanctuary's pastor, told Reuters the request was rejected because Luxuria, a former drag queen and defender of gay rights, "does not believe in family values, even from a political point of view.". . .

"His personal choices are another matter, I have already explained this to him," the priest said by phone on Wednesday.

Luxuria's Communist Refoundation party called the ban "illegal and racist".

"Once again, the Church shows its discriminatory and fundamentalist face," it said in a statement.

Thai Transgender Beauty Pageant Contestants Try to Raise Environmental Awareness

November 7, 2007

Miss United Kingdom shielded herself from the Thai sun in Pattaya with a lace fan and reluctantly gripped a baby turtle between two painted fingernails. Miss Costa Rica thought her turtle was getting too dry so she swished it in a bucket of water.

In a world increasingly concerned about climate change, the 25 transvestite and transgender contestants in Saturday's fourth annual Miss International Queen competition are trying to promote awareness on how people are damaging the environment. Organizers say the contestants often draw attention wherever they go.

On Tuesday, the buxom group released turtles from a sunny beach into the Gulf of Thailand, posing for group photos in matching lime-green polo shirts and white pants. Releasing baby turtles is a popular project among conservationists in Southeast Asia, where seaside development and pollution threaten the animals.

But some contestants were not amused.

''It's so slimy!'' exclaimed Camila Pryns of Switzerland, holding a turtle smaller than her palm and adjusting her dark sunglasses so they covered her penciled eyebrows. ''I love being here, and the air smells so good. But the turtles feel gross.''

This year's contest, managed by Tiffany's transvestite cabaret based in the rowdy coastal resort town of Pattaya for the fourth year running, has the theme ''Think About It'' -- to encourage people to protect the earth.

The contestants were traveling around Thailand ahead of the competition, joining green-themed projects like planting orchids and trees.

Shima Shyna, a contestant from Japan with a bouffant hairdo, said releasing turtles was a tradition for her.

''In my country, the beaches of Okinawa (island) have become a tourist destination, and the turtles are in great danger,'' Shyna said.

She said she and her family go to the beach every year to drive away birds so newly hatched turtles can make it safely to the sea. ''I love it. It's very spiritual for me.''

A contestant from the Philippines, Rain Marie, was sad to see her turtle go. After naming it Pawican -- ''Turtle'' in her language, Tagalog -- she gave the amphibian a big kiss.

''If you kiss them and make a wish before you release them, you will live a longer life because turtles live so long,'' she said.

Organizers believe the beauty queens' participation can make a difference.

''Whatever transvestites do, they always make more noise,'' said pageant spokeswoman Buranii Chandraparnik. ''Global warming is a mounting concern for the entire world.'' (Matthew Treib, AP). . . .

POV, Critique, Opinion: The Alarming Push for Transgender Rights

November 7, 2007 | From theTrumpet.com

California law now protects cross-dressers like it does racial minorities—ignoring biology, reality and common sense. By Joel Hilliker

Some people think utopia is a place where sex is meaningless.

A group of lawmakers, judges, lawyers and educators in Britain and America want to engineer a world free from oppression and hate. They want to introduce a golden age of tolerance and understanding. They seek a society where everyone is accepted, where no one is condemned, where everyone feels emotionally validated, where no one’s feelings are ever hurt.

That might sound like a noble dream—but their version of it is a nightmare.

It is a world where the line between male and female doesn’t exist. Where not only is it just as common to be homosexual or bisexual as heterosexual, but every person has the choice—with society’s full, unflinching support—to act, dress or even biologically exist as either male or female, or anything in between. Where a school teacher, police officer, priest or president can be a man who likes wearing dresses and high heels, and anyone who expresses discomfort over the idea can be silenced with the full force of the law.

This utopian world removes pressure on singles to marry, pressure on married people to remain together, pressure on parents to make sacrifices for their children, and pressure on children to view their parents as authorities. In other words, it undermines the pillars of family life. . . .

FIGHTING FOR FUTURE FREEDOM

Eleanor Lister … “Most transsexuals know that we are going to be the ones that break same-sex marriage.”

My whole life changed about five years ago when I joined the Greens in outrage over the Tampa affair. I then helped organise the meeting that the Redfern community group REDWatch sprang out of. And soon I had enough confidence to come out as a transsexual, which meant hooking up with that community.

I found that there was a lot of fear in the transgender community that was preventing people from becoming active. But I am old enough now that I am not scared. I noticed that the transgender day of remembrance wasn’t being commemorated. So I organised it last year, and got us on the radar.

I knew a lot of people, not just transsexuals of both sorts, but intersex people and cross-dressers. And within that community I noticed certain cliques and factions. But I thought, when we are all being called freaks, when we are all supposedly going to hell on the same train, what is the point of fighting amongst ourselves? After we get our freedom we can then say, “I have got nothing in common with you,” and if we want, we can go our own way.

People are better informed about the transgender community these days. But it was impossible to come out when I was young. It was 1956 and I was living in Perth and it just wasn’t a viable option, there was no chance at all. Homosexuality was illegal, and transsexuality was regarded as a mental disease suffered by homosexuals. I could have been considered an insane criminal or a man.

I was 16 and terrified. What choice was I going to make? I tried to do the man thing but it didn’t work. I had female sensitivities, and that was so strong in me, I almost thought it was a magical power.

You feel slightly “schiz” – there is part of you that knows the truth, and another part of you that pretends not to. On some level I have always known who I was, but I worked very hard to not know.

The big deal about coming out for me is freedom – that is the only word that makes sense. To me, if it is not about freedom you are doing it for the wrong reasons. It has got to make you feel who you are, and make you feel strong.

Some transgender people don’t like to be equated with the gay and lesbian community, to the point that they say, “I am not gay, I am not lesbian, I am transsexual, I am just an ordinary woman.” And you say, “Yes, that is fine, but we have got the same enemies, and we might all benefit from that.”

When push comes to shove, there are problems with the 58 pieces of legislation as pointed out in the HREOC report. There are areas of the law that could have been examined that would have had more of an influence on the transgender community. They stuck strictly to sexuality and didn’t really consider gender, so that in a way is not going to be all that useful to a lot of us.

On the other hand we do feel that we are going to contribute a lot to the gay and lesbian community, particularly with same-sex marriage, with people like Grace Abrams, who is getting her identity established.

Why should she have to cancel her marriage, which is now a same-sex marriage? Why should she have to get divorced, to get an amended birth certificate? Most transsexuals know that we are going to be the ones that break same-sex marriage.

But while there is sometimes some animosity, there are also great unions. In the Greens, there are a couple of gay men who are terrific guys, who go an extra mile for me, and who I trust. I don’t have so many friends so I can’t afford to throw any away.

I do sometimes get offended when people call me sir. But if it’s being done by somebody who really doesn’t know what to say, and is trying desperately to be polite, such as a taxi driver, who just wants to be courteous, and says, “Have a nice day, thank you, sir,” well, I am not even going to raise an eyebrow. He is not being offensive, he is being courteous, and he just doesn’t understand.

The process of coming out as a transsexual varies a lot, but it starts as a road, and it never finishes.

What order people do things in is up to them. I had a phase in which I took hormones, dressed full-time and change my name legally, dating from June 1 2005. The idea now is to save up for the surgery.

Not everybody wants to, or needs to, have the surgery. How far you go is up to you. And even after you have the surgery, you are still on the path, you never leave it; you are on it for the rest of your life.

As told to Cara Davis

The Transgender Day of Remembrance is being held at Barme, 154 Brougham St (cnr William St), Kings Cross, on Sunday 18 November from 1pm. The program of events can be seen at http://webspinning.org/tdor2007.