Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Savage Love: Letters
by Dan Savage
There are times when I suspect you give an outrageous response to a reader so you can get a free column out of the angry responses.
Regarding your response to Auntie Mame about the femmy 5-year-old nephew, I think calling his father’s reaction emotional abuse is completely over the top. Restrictive and unfair? You better believe it. But abuse? Nothing in her letter leads me think the kid would get pulled from his home by a social worker.
If the dad were abusing the kid, he’d be in his face calling him a sissy and a namby-pamby or whatever, and making him sit in a dark room. Or making him eat dog shit to make a man out of him (see the bookTen Points by Bill Strickland). Leave the term “abuse” for those who deserve it.
Iowan Dissenter
I just wanted to commend you on the superb advice you gave the lady who’s worried about hiding her nephew’s homosexuality from her brother. My son is exactly like the little guy described, and apart from making me sit throughHigh School Musical 2 instead of father-and-son rugby games, I couldn’t love him more. It saddens me that there are parents who set themselves and their kids up for the most astonishing amount of heartache by denying a kid’s sexuality.
All Power to Auntie Mame
“Auntie Mame” has a 5-year-old nephew who likes to play dress-up in girl’s clothes, and the father has forbidden him from doing so. You wrote that there’s “a 100 percent chance that your brother will one day regret his actions,” and even to tell the nephew that his father “will come around one day.”
I’ve got to call 100 percent bullshit on you. In fact, I’m sort of forced to wonder what planet you’ve been living on recently. I was also caught cross-dressing by my parents at about the same age—and their displeasure was clearly communicated to me, and I dropped it for the rest of the time I lived with them (mostly). We’ve never discussed it since—I’m now in my late 30s—and there’s no way in hell my parents are going to “one day regret their actions/come around.” Late in high school I was told that the one thing that would get me disowned would be to “run off with” my male best friend at the time.
Is my life destroyed? No, I really don’t think so. Perhaps screwed up a bit—I couldn’t even call this “emotional violence,” frankly, just a big difference in taste.
But at any rate,please don’t get the hopes up of Auntie Mame and her nephew in such an unrealistic fashion. Waiting for an acceptance that never comes may be far more hurtful, on an ongoing basis, than just accepting that your father and you don’t like all the same things.
Been There, Done That
While I don’t disagree with the advice you gave Auntie Mame—be supportive and prepare to provide more emotional and physical support—I wonder if the nephew in question isn’t experiencing more of a gender-identity challenge than one of sexual orientation. Yes, there’s the whole “Zac Efron is cute” thing, but what the heck does that mean when you’re 5?
As a breeder female, I chose at that age to play with the boys because they had trucks, and got dirty, and mixed up weird botanical crap found in the back yard and dared you to eat it. That was cool. Although I identify as female, I was drawn to the power of male environments. Perhaps young nephew isn’t even gender-identity challenged—he just likes the really fun—and powerful—parts about being a girl.
Plenty of self-respecting gay men never thought of putting on makeup and dancing to show tunes. Many have. Many females have never been enticed by silly boy shit. Many have. How ’bout we add the advice of not making assumptions about our young nephew while providing a safe space in which he can work it out for himself?
HFP
I was delighted to see Auntie Mame’s letter today, because I’ve been wondering for two years whether my 6-year-old son might be gay. It’s fine with me whatever his sexual orientation is, but one wants to know, and to be aware of who your children really are so you can be sure to parent them the right way. And I think the last thing you want, no matter what age your kids are, is toask them these things, especially when they’re sweet and shy and sensitive. You just want the conversation comfortable so they can tell you things.
Anyhow, two years ago he started asking whether men can marry men (I tell him people can marry whomever they love), and pointing out that “boys are much prettier than girls.” He’s sweet, shy, gentle and musical, and loves to paint his nails and dress up. He once asked wistfully if YouTube had any videos of “two men mating” (I assured him it didn’t).
This is all fine, and not a parenting challenge, and he’ll grow up to be darling whatever his sexual orientation is. But what has surprised me is the number of our liberal, open-minded, non-homophobic friends whose reaction when we would mention this is that “no one could possibly know at age 5 what their sexual orientation could be.” That seems wrong to me. You don’t have to know anything about sex, or to want to have it yet, to know what kind of person you are interested in. I knew perfectly well at age 4 that I was a princess and that I would marry a prince, and that princes were in some way attractive, even if I wanted nothing to do with them in real life.
Love My Son
I love your column, and think that 99 percent of the time, you are bang on, primarily because you recommend honesty and communication. However, this time I think you really blew it, primarily because you recommended dishonesty and subterfuge.
You were right on when you said the homophobic father was endangering his relationship with his son. As I once said to a homophobic mother: “Your attitude toward your son is never going to make him sorry that he’s gay. It’s only going to make him sorry that you’re his mother.”
However, you advised Auntie Mame to do the gay stuff with little Johnny on the sly. There we part ways. It’s not addressing the real problem, which is the father’s, not the boy’s. He’s learning at a young age to disrespect his father (who, I know, already disrespects Johnny), to do things on the sly (shades of Larry Craig), to not trust his father, to find an adult who will indulge him (manipulation), to lie, and worst of all, to bein the closet about who he is.
It’s all going to come out anyway—what 5-year-old can keep a secret, or even understand that one must be kept? Johnny will be punished, and probably the worst thing, Auntie Mame will be denied access, and then that little boy will have no one in his life to support him.
Better for Auntie Mame to bravely tell Daddy the damage he may be doing to his son and to his relationship with his son, and offer to pay for a few visits to a therapist for Daddy. Communication is what’s necessary here, not ideology or self-righteousness. A little boy’s future is at stake.
Ben J.
Auntie Mame and you both are making an assumption that is likely wrong. Lets go over the evidence: The young nephew likes “putting on makeup, watching and dancing along to musicals with vampy women (likeChicago), (and) playing dress-up.” This doesn’t sound so much like the child is gay, but rather that he’s possibly (male to female) transgendered. I should know because I am myself.
If instead of a nephew doing these things it was a niece, no one would mind or give it a second look. Assuming someone is gay and not possibly transgendered when in fact they are transgendered can cause just as much harm as assuming they’re straight when in fact they’re gay.
Having had my say, I will agree with your overall advice regarding the letter writer to be supportive and how to deal with the dad. Ideally all parents will let their children grow up to be whoever they will be free of preconceptions.
TGIRL
Transgender Rights Are A Worldwide Struggle
One of the things I've noticed over the last few years is how transpeople all over the world are gathering the courage to stand up, proudly proclaim their pride in who we are and fight for our human rights to be respected. The battle over ENDA in the United States is just one front in this struggle to not only gain recognition and respect but to be able to openly and honestly live our lives.
As a transgender person, my brothers and sisters are everywhere. I am not limited to the borders of the United States or my ancestral home continent of Africa in this regard. Any success that we as transpeople have somewhere on planet Earth affects me positively. I also share the pain and disappointment when I hear about the violence and repression faced by transpeople in many parts of Africa, Central America, South America, Jamaica and the United States or the legal setbacks in various countries when it comes to transgender issues.
I cheered when Israel's Dana International won the Eurovision song contest. I'm envious of my sisters in Thailand who get to transition early without the faith-based hatred that we face here in the States. I marvel at the beauty of the transwomen from Mexico, the Philippines, South Korea, Japan and other parts of the globe. I was moved to tears when Georgina Beyer became the first transwoman ever elected to a national legislative body as a member of New Zealand's parliament. I was happy to see that then 12 year old Kim in Germany was allowed to transition and is now happily growing up as a teen aged girl. I'm thrilled by the victories that Spanish transpeople gained in terms of their name change rights. I was fascinated to discover that transpeople even exist in Iran and other parts of the Middle East.
I jumped for joy when the Gender Recognition Act of 2004 was passed by the British Parliament. The recent Irish case allowing a transwoman there to change birth documents will hopefully help us here in the States.
Some of my early role models when I was growing up in the 70's were international in scope such as Britain's Caroline Cossey. I'm inspired to fight harder for my rights here in the States by drawing on the examples of courage from Ugandan Victor Juliet Mukasa , the Queen of Africa and transactivists in Argentina.
And my thoughts are reciprocated in other parts of the world as well. The upcoming Transgender Day of Remembrance started here in the States but has quickly become a worldwide event. I was pleased to discover that my blog is read internationally when I noted that Portugal's Eduarda Santos links her transgender blog to various posts of mine on occasion. I hope that you international readers are enjoying getting to learn about what life is like for a transgender person who also happens to be an American proud of her African roots.
I'm delighted to see that transgender pageants are exploding in popularity in the Philippines, Thailand and Great Britain and that our transpeeps in South Korea, thanks to Harisu, can not only get their name changes done but get married as well.
Even China has an emerging transgender community with Chen Lili as its poster girl. And like Georgina Beyer, more transpeople are getting elected to public office in various countries, including my own.
We are all interconnected. Transpeople know this lesson better than anyone. Just look at how SRS technology advanced. It was an international effort and we traveled to wherever it was available.
In 1952 the late Christine Jorgenson got her pioneering surgery done in Denmark. Others later flocked to Morocco in the 1960s to get the updated techniques from Dr. Georges Burou that modern SRS is based on. The late Dr. Stanley Biber of Trinidad, CO built upon and perfected it during the 70's and 80's. Montreal surgeons Dr. Yvon Menard and Dr. Pierre Brassard built on that work and Dr. Michel Seghers was doing cutting edge SRS surgeries as well in Belgium. Now transpeople flock to Thailand from all over the world to take advantage of the reasonably-priced cutting edge work of the Thai doctors to get it done.
The civil rights struggle, like the medical advances in SRS techniques is an international one as well. We may feel in our various countries from time to time that we're fighting it alone, but we aren't.
But the fight is an ongoing one. Just as we have religious zealots in the United States seeking to retard our progress, so do our brothers and sisters around the world. Islamic fundamentalists are opposing our sisters in Malaysia and Indonesia. Nigerians have the double whammy of being opposed by Islamic and Christian fundamentalists.
Like the US Republican party, there are politicians pandering to the bigot vote like Prime Minster John Howard of Australia and our transsisters are caught in the crossfire. The Catholic Church has moved from an affirming position on transgender issues to an increasingly intolerant one under Pope Benedict XVI. Our sisters in the Philippines have recently suffered a blow from their Supreme Court in terms of being able to change their birth documents.
As former South African president Nelson Mandela so eloquently stated, 'the people are their own liberators.'
We must take his words to heart and act as our own liberators. We must continue to support each other, reach out to supportive family members and friends, win allies, pool information, strategies, tactics and information so that we reach our ultimate goal: respect of our humanity.
We transpeople should never give up hope. We must continue to fight to have our basic human rights in our various homelands respected and protected. That must happen if we wish to contribute our talents to help build our communities and our respective nations. We must be able to work without being harassed or denied employment we are qualified for. We mush be able to live quality lives without having fear, shame, guilt and the specter of violence heaped upon us. We must be able to freely use our talents to accomplish whatever we set our minds to do and have the faith to believe that one day we will prevail over the Forces of Intolerance.
And yes, I believe this will happen in my lifetime. . . .
Transsexual women
The Court recently denied the petition of Rommel Jacinto Dantes Silverio, a transsexual, to change the entries in his birth certificate in the Office of the Civil Registrar -- specifically, his gender from male to female and his first name to “Mely.” This despite the fact that Silverio had undergone what is technically called a “sex-reassignment surgery” in Bangkok in 2001 to become a biological woman. The Court, however, ruled that while the petitioner “may have succeeded in altering his body and appearance through the intervention of modern surgery, no law authorizes the change of entry as to sex in the civil registry for that reason. There is no special law in the country governing sex reassignment and its effect. This is fatal to petitioner’s case.” The Court concluded that it is up to Congress, if it chooses, “to determine what guidelines should govern the recognition of the effects of sex reassignment.”
The riveting story of Rommel/Mely Silverio is detailed in an intimate Internet account titled “My Life as a Transsexual Woman,” which he/she divides into: (1) pre-gender transition from birth to 1995; (2) pre-surgery days in Hawaii from 1996 to 2000; and (3) post-surgery life in the Philippines from 2001 to the present.
It was as a doctoral student in Sociology at the University of Hawaii at Manoa that I came to know Rommel very well. His late mother Anita I knew back in Manila. He was all of 230 pounds but over time I could notice a gradual change in his appearance. He had embarked on a regimen of female hormone pills and estrogen shots. I teasingly told him one day that he was becoming “sexy” but to be “careful.” By the end of 1996, he had already lost 50 pounds. He continued the routine until he lost another 30 pounds. So by now, he was down to 155 pounds evenly distributed in his 5’8” frame. He was becoming a woman and gaining a “greater sense of self-esteem and confidence.”
He went on to defend his dissertation on youth sexual behavior in 2000, and had acquired a “boyfriend” who consented to have him go to Bangkok for the sex change. For about three hours, a renowned Thai surgeon performed vaginoplasty and breast augmentation, increasing her breast size from A to D. Her recovery and post-surgery therapy lasted 18 months, after which she introduced her boyfriend, the man she was going to marry, to her family.
While Rommel had become Mely, for which she was ecstatic, several problems arose. The name on her passport was that of a man and inspectors couldn’t reconcile this with the tall, svelte and well-dressed woman standing in front of them. She had to have two sets of documentation all the time to attest to the fact that Rommel and Mely were one and the same. Bank personnel would do all sorts of checking, so she would seek out only those that already knew her to avoid any confusion and embarrassment. And so on. She could have easily come back to the United States where she wouldn’t have these hassles.
But discriminatory comments such as that the Philippines is not ready for transsexual women like her only increased her resolve to be treated equally and justly. Such remarks only “added fuel to my desire to be regarded as a professional colleague, to be treated with respect as a woman, and to be given a fair chance at life in general.” She escalated her personal struggle to attain “full legal recognition as a woman here in the Philippines, my country of birth” by petitioning the courts to change her gender and first name. The Court of Appeals denied her petition, which was a devastating blow. I am certain that the Supreme Court verdict upholding the lower court was even more devastating.
So, what now? I have great compassion for Mely -- whom I will always remember as Rommel -- who is really a very bright and likable individual. What does it matter really -- Rommel or Mely, man or woman -- it’s the same human being! And she has gone through the whole process with extreme pain of validating the essence of her identity and humanity. What more can we ask? But the law as they say is cruel, but it’s the law.
As a footnote, the large majority of transsexual (TS) transitions work out very well over the long term as documented in Lynn’s “Transsexual Women’s Successes.” However, in some cases, complete TS transitions “fail to meet very unrealistic expectations, and way too late the transitioner may realize that undergoing sex reassignment surgery (SRS) was a BIG mistake.” Among the “regretters” is Renee Richards, who was born a male but transitioned as a female via surgery in 1975 at age 40 and became a famous tennis player. She wished she had not done it, but too late. She realized she would always be seen as a transsexual and never as a real woman that she had earlier hoped to become.
My only hope for Rommel/Mely is that she won’t regret the biggest decision she made in her life, and that society will become increasingly tolerant, if not accepting, of diversity in all its possible senses and meanings.
Belinda A. Aquino is director of Philippine Studies at the University of Hawaii at Manoa, where she has been professor of Political Science and Asian Studies.
Over One-third Of Former American Football Players Had Sexual Relations With Men, Study Claims
In his study of homosexuality among sportsmen in the US, sociologist Dr Eric Anderson found that 19 in a sample of 47 had taken part in acts intended to sexually arouse other men, ranging from kissing to mutual masturbation and oral sex.
The 47 men, aged 18-23, were all American Football players who previously played at the high school (secondary school) level but had failed to be picked for their university’s team and were now cheerleaders instead. They were at various universities from the American south, Mid-West, west and north west.
Dr Anderson, now of the University of Bath, UK, said the study showed that society’s increasing open-mindedness about homosexuality and decreasing stigma concerning sexual activity with other men had allowed sportsmen to speak more openly about these sexual activities. He found that this sex came in the form of two men and one woman, as well as just two men alone.
He said that the sexual acts described differed from acts of ‘hazing’ or team-bonding that often include pretend-homosexual acts.
“The evidence supports my assertion that homophobia is on the rapid decline among male teamsport athletes in North America at all levels of play,” he writes in his study, entitled ‘Being masculine is not about whom you sleep with…Heterosexual athletes contesting masculinity and the one-time rule of homosexuality’. It will be published in the journal Sex Roles in January. . . .
Either way, "Miriam" an awful dating show
There's Something About Miriam , 10 p.m., Fox Reality Channel)
LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Yes, there is something about Miriam, all right. She's a guy. Or, well, a pre-op transsexual, anyway. Welcome to "The Crying Game: The TV Series."
Six strapping heterosexual British dudes. One stunning Latin model. A mansion in Ibiza. The guys compete in this "reality" dating show to be the one who gets to go on a weeklong yacht cruise with Miriam and pick up 10,000 pounds ($20,670) in the bargain. What they don't know, of course, is that she is in one very important area actually a he.
Fox Reality Channel snatches this show whole from the U.K., where it's said to have been a controversial hit nearly four years ago under the title "Find Me a Man." The suitors here don't become privy to their prize's true anatomical nature until near the end of their quest, which is simply cruel. Miriam offers that she is into "straight guys," so it's no wonder she has been so frustrated in her search for Mr. Right to this point. That penis thing keeps getting in the way.
The contestants here engage in various physical challenges -- under the direction of a genuine no-nonsense drill instructor -- to impress the object of their affection. Previews from upcoming episodes confirm that there is early speculation about Miriam's gender among the lads. It's undeniable that Miriam, who was 21 at the time, is beautiful. But it's also obvious that she is pretty dim, making her an appropriate subject for this pointless piece of exploitation. . . .
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Two former men share transgender experience
Diana Bubser
October 31, 2007
Transgender activists Barbara "Babs" Casbar and Terry McCorkell spoke to a crowd of about 30 College students Thursday night in Forcina Hall to address the historical, political and social issues of transgender advocacy. They also shared their own gender identity experiences: the two former men now each lead the life of a woman.
"This room is a pronoun-free zone," McCorkell declared.
The lecture was presented by PRISM, the College's organization supporting the equality of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people.
"We are always looking to educate ourselves and others," Angel Hernandez, president of PRISM, said.
Wearing a multicolored dress and flashy jewelry, McCorkell spoke of her teenage years, when she was not only interested in girls, but wanted to be one. However, she waited until her 30s to join transgender support groups and start communicating with others about the issue.
The work McCorkell did in the 1990s laid the foundations for New Jersey Laws against Discrimination, and she was honored by then-Sen. Jon S. Corzine as "Activist of the Year."
"I used to be shy as a man, but learned to be assertive as a woman," she said.
Casbar referred to herself as a "woman scarred by many years of testosterone." After her wife died, she realized she was a "lower-class citizen." Instead of crying, she decided to take action.
Casbar is now the head of the Gender Rights Advocacy Association of New Jersey and serves on the boards of Garden State Equality and New Jersey Stonewall Democrats.
A PowerPoint presentation was then shown explaining the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity.
"Sexual orientation is who you are attracted to, while gender identity is who you identify with," it said.
McCorkell feels New Jersey is the "most knowledgeable on gender discrimination" of all the states. However, she also points out that transgender acceptance is not nationwide. . . .
Reform Jewish Leader Calls on House to Pass Transgender Inclusive Non-Discrimination Act
Contact: Sean Thibault or Kate Bigam
202.387.2800 | news@rac.org
Washington, D.C. October 29, 2007 — In anticipation of this week’s House vote on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, Rabbi David Saperstein, Director of the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism, issued the following statement:
We are pleased by the House’s planned vote later this week on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, legislation that will provide long-overdue protection to gay and lesbian Americans at risk of workplace discrimination based on their sexual orientation. The right to earn a living without fear of discrimination ought to be extended to all Americans, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Yet in 31 states, it is legal to fire, demote, or fail to promote an employee based on sexual orientation; in 39 states, it is legal to do so based on gender identity.
That is why it is essential that the House also pass an amendment to be offered by Rep. Tammy Baldwin (D-WI), which will add gender identity protections to the bill. Extending workplace protections to the entire gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community bolsters the moral power of this legislation.
Throughout our nation’s history, our leaders have had to make many tough decisions about issues of justice and morality. Rarely have these decisions been easy. As Reform Jews, we are guided by Jewish tradition and text that teaches us that all human beings are created b'tselem Elohim, in the Divine image. Our nation’s sacred texts also guide us, as well as Americans of all faiths and no faith, reminding us that we are all created equal. We look forward to working with members of Congress in support of legislation that achieves that goal.
###
The Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism is the
Washington office of the Union for Reform Judaism, whose more
than 900 congregations across North America encompass 1.5 million Reform Jews, and the Central Conference of American Rabbis, whose membership
includes more than 1800 Reform rabbis
India: Depicting the transgender truth
Shai Venkatraman
Tuesday, October 30, 2007: (Mumbai):
It's a community most people ridicule or prefer to keep at arm's length.
But what does it mean to cross the gender divide, to be free of being male as society defines it?
That's the theme explored in the film Our Family.
A true story about a family of transgender women that unfolds over three generations.
The film's set in Tamil Nadu and tells the story of Aasha, Seetha and Dhana, who are bound together by ties of adoption.
Aasha is the grandmother, Seetha her adopted daughter and Dhana who is adopted by Seetha and her partner Selvam.
"We wanted to make a film which would question the way people look at the hijras. We wanted to look at the human rights violation, the stigmas and also look at the warmth and celebratory aspect of it," said Dr Anjali Monteiro, Filmmaker.
The film documents their journey as they discover their sexual identities and progressively blur the lines between themselves and what's seen as normal social behaviour.
"They become a regular family. So the woman Seetha does the cooking. She does assert herself but in trying to do so she asserts her womanly identity even more, one of the things that struck us was that they were normal but in trying to be normal they had to play out the politics of being normal in some sense," said K Jayanshanker, Filmmaker.
The film will not release commercially and will remain limited to the festival circuit. Clearly that's one barrier that will take some time crossing. . . .
Stereotypes under fire
When Knoll Larkin was coming out, he said he thought everyone smoked.
Smoking seemed to be accepted as a part of the bar culture that historically provided the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community with a safe haven, said Larkin, health services coordinator for Affirmations, an LGBT community center in Ferndale, Mich.
These perceived high smoking rates inspired Affirmations to collect information on the number of actual smokers in the LGBT community and gather their views on the health, social and economic aspects involved with smoking.
It also prompted their support for a Michigan bill that would ban smoking in places of employment, such as bars and restaurants.
Affirmations’ study — using information compiled in 2006 — revealed that 53 percent of the more than 350 people surveyed were past or current smokers, 33 percent of which identified as current smokers.
The average age of survey respondents was 35, with a range of 16 to 66. Most respondents, 76 percent, identified as gay or lesbian, 14 percent identified as bisexual and 2 percent identified as heterosexual, according to the study.
Contributing factors to smoking for LGBT people include heightened stress levels, increased incidence of substance use, reduced access to health care and targeted marketing by the tobacco industry, according to the study.
Mandi Rabe, a member of People Respecting the Individuality of Students at MSU, or PRISM, said she doesn’t see the LGBT community as being affected by smoking more than any other population.
“I think it’s still a stereotype that the queer population does more drugs,” said Rabe, a political theory and constitutional democracy sophomore. “With my own involvement in the community, I don’t see it any more. Clearly out of all the stereotypes, it’s one of the least worrisome — but it’s still something that needs to be dealt with.”
According to the American Cancer Society, more than 30,000 LGBT people die from tobacco-related diseases each year.
Smoking also increases the risk of blood clots in transgender women who take estrogen, and heart disease in transgender men who take testosterone, according to the National Coalition for LGBT Health.
David Jaques, president of Respecting Individuals on Neutral Grounds, or RING, said the number of LGBT and heterosexual smokers seems to be proportionate.
“It’s like saying gay people ride more bikes than straight people — there’s not a correlation in my mind,” he said.
The difference in generations also should be taken into account, Jaques said. Older people seem to smoke more than younger people, he said.
Jaques, who said he doesn’t go to bars or clubs very often, said banning smoking would only make it more enjoyable to go out. . . .
Methodists Vote to Keep Transgender Pastor
In a potentially landmark decision, the United Methodist Church has ruled that a transgender pastor who applied for a name change can remain in the ministry. The decision in case of the Rev. Drew Phoenix was released on Tuesday by the church's Judicial Council.
The United Methodist Church, or UMC, bans gay people from serving as clergy, but its Book of Discipline makes no mention of transsexual people. "Essentially, they said that I'm a pastor in good standing and therefore I'm appointable," says Phoenix, who leads St. John's in Baltimore.
In affirming Phoenix as an ordained minister, the council left aside the specific question of whether transgender people can serve. What mattered here was that Phoenix faced no "administrative or judicial action" beyond the question of the name change itself. "The Judicial Council does not reach the question of whether gender change is a chargeable offense or violates minimum standards established by the General Conference," council members wrote.
Phoenix says he always felt male. As a girl, the Methodist minister says, he was known as "Dave Gordon's son." Even when he was preaching as Ann Gordon, Phoenix says, people related to the pastor as a man. But it wasn't until last year, at the age of 47, that Gordon decided to undergo surgery and hormone therapy -- to formally become male.
After the then-Rev. Gordon was reappointed as Drew Phoenix at the Baltimore-Washington Methodist Conference in May, members of the UMC petitioned to ban transsexuals from serving. Now, with the Judicial Council's ruling, Phoenix plans to continue at his church.
Phoenix says he knows he's something of a test case, but calls his transition a gift to the church. The ruling "is outstanding," he says. "It's historic."
UMC members have been wrestling with issues of gender and sexuality, as have other branches of the wider Protestant church. The Phoenix case was one of several on the Judicial Council docket that dealt with such matters, including one from northern Illinois for an initiative called "Affirming All Familes" and another from the California-Nevada conference about plans to "Welcome and Include LGBT" people in church leadership.
The church could take up the issue of transgender clergy again at its general conference in April. Questions concerning sexual minorities have become regular a feature of national UMC gatherings. "It has come up at every general conference in recent years," says spokesperson Diane Denton, "so I would expect it would be an issue again."
Monday, October 29, 2007
My $150,000 body
Shinan Govani, National Post
Published: Saturday, April 22, 2006Nina Arsenault is a columnist for Fab Magazine, a freelance writer and sex-trade worker. Her television appearances include Showcase TV's Kink and Global's Train 48. Shinan Govani reported in January about her famously friendly chat with Tommy Lee at Ultra Supper Club; she has previously revealed that she has ''had sex with two professional athletes, a movie star, two TV personalities, the CEOs of two Fortune 500 companies, four guys who worked for the mob, a string of strippers, many male models, a bunch of body builders, loads of nightclubbing suburban guys ... all of them straight."
- - -
Last December, I lay on the operating table of one of Toronto's top plastic surgeons getting my boobs re-done with state-of-the-art cohesive gel silicone implants, a.k.a. the ''gummi bear implant.'' They're nicknamed for their gelatinous consistency.
Anesthesia coursing through me, I aggrandized my upgraded $9,000 breasts. With no liquid silicone they can't rupture and leak. They've a more realistic droop and came custom made in shape and size -- differentiated by a tenth of a centimetre to my specifications.
''Can I keep my old breast implants after you take them out of me?'' I asked the doctor.
I didn't know that I'd need five more operations to fix complications from this impending boob job. I've had 50 cosmetic procedures to transform my body, some in Third World countries and hotel rooms, and the latest surgery has gone wrong.
Has it all been worth it? I'm a whole new woman.
- - -
I grew up, a little girl inside a little boy's body, in The Golden Horseshoe Trailer Park in Beamsville. By age five, I loved Barbie dolls and X-men comics. I'd pretend I was Storm, fighting evil in a disco-inspired super-bikini, with a killer bod to boot. I also had secret crushes on the prepubescent hell raisers of my little town, foul-mouthed boys who already smoked and who'd probably end up doing time for petty crimes. One summer afternoon, they allowed me a peek at the glossy images they'd heisted from their fathers' hidden caches of Playboy magazines. I was awestruck by portraits of an elusive, fully sexual female-ness that seemed more mythical than real.
Innocently, I thought to myself, ''I want to look like that when I grow up.''
By 1997, I'd become a 22-year-old man who resembled character actor Crispin Glover (the ''Thin Man'' from the Charlie's Angels movies). I was living in South Africa when my doctor noticed a cyst growing below my left eye. Worried it would cause serious damage to my face, he sent me to a plastic surgeon. The physician injected freezing into my face. I felt no pain as he started cutting, but I heard tissue tearing. He cauterized some bleeding and my nostrils filled with the smell of my own burnt flesh. Minutes later, he was sewing me up. I paid him with money my parents had sent me; thanks to the favourable exchange rate, roughly $100 Canadian covered it.
The horrific memories faded when I saw my improved appearance and realized the potential of plastic surgery. I arrived for my post-op visit and confessed, ''I want to be a woman.'' . . .
Love Bites.
Birth Right
BY SASHA
When someone changes gender, do they get their birth certificate changed? WKRP
Anyone can change the name on their birth certificate (for $137), thereby making it easy to change it on all subsequent ID. Though changing your sex is cheaper ($37), it requires more effort and, certainly, some consideration.
My colleague Adrien has been living as a man for several years, and hasn't changed his records in any way. He's had no major problems at borders, but one reason he's reluctant to have his ID reflect his sex change is, on the very slim chance he's ever arrested, he'd rather be imprisoned with a bunch of biological females than a bunch of biological males. Transpeople have a lot to think about when they go through their changes, and no doubt the totally shitty fact that they're so often targeted in hate crimes informs some decisions.
Canadian celebrity transsexual Nina Arsenault never bothered to have her identification changed. Her passport reflects her female status only because, when she applied for it, officials judged by her submitted photo that she had checked the wrong box and amended it. The rest of her ID is male. "Crossing the border is terrifying for me, the States specifically," says Nina. She once went with a girlfriend who is very convincing, but whose passport says male. When they explained to the border patrol they were transsexuals, the guys got on their walkie-talkies and had all their colleagues come over to gawk at them, making remarks like, "Let me get this straight: you two have dicks?" They didn't let them cross, claiming they were a flight risk. Don't you just love those nightclubs where you're treated like shit at the door and then they won't even let you in?
Related tales of Nina's include having her breasts and ribs done in Mexico just after 9/11 and then going through the border at Houston, where they demanded she take off her surgical girdle because the gauze made it appear as though she had dynamite strapped under it. (She refused.) As well, she was turned back another time and forced onto a plane full of cranky Thunder Bay residents who had all been informed over the intercom that their flight had been held up by a transsexual -- guess who, everybody?! . . .
A case of her: channeling Joni
John Kelly moves audiences and the singer herself with 'Paved Paradise'
John Kelly says "Paved Paradise: The Songs of Joni Mitchell" is "about getting at the essence of something." (josef astor) You won't see "Joni Mitchell" on Commercial Street in Provincetown, handing out show leaflets to tourists alongside the drag Cher, Barbra, and, yes, Susan Lucci. With her yellow hair, her tilted beret, and a billowy outfit right off the cover of "Hejira,""Ms. Mitchell" appeals to far more rarefied tastes. When she beckons, only the fanatics queue up, eager to hear sweetly edgy trills, lines of wisdom, and some homespun stage banter, eh?
And anyway, this Joni isn't strictly a drag queen, evoking one shining icon during year after year of hot Cape Cod nights. She is John Kelly, an Obie-winning New York actor, singer, and dancer whose long list of stage credits extends to "Orpheus X" at the American Repertory Theatre and "James Joyce's The Dead" on Broadway. She is a man who pays camp-free homage to the "woman of heart and mind," as Mitchell has called herself, with a performance of Mitchell songs that's as moving as it is funny, as sincere as it is droll.
Impersonation? Drag? Cabaret? Kelly no longer tries to define his show, "Paved Paradise: The Songs of Joni Mitchell," which the Theater Offensive is presenting at the Boston Center for the Arts Thursday through Nov. 4.
"Believe me, I was lip-synching Maria Callas recordings at the Anvil [gay bar in New York] in punk drag in 1979," he says recently during a visit to Harvard Square, speaking in gentle tones that barely hint at his piercing Joni-esque tenor. "That's how I started. I was hanging out with all these amazing drag performers. But I'm trained as a dancer and a visual artist and now as a singer. . . . And so still I'm always grappling with the semantics of it."
Most people are surprised to learn that the late Divine, the diva in John Waters movies such as "Hairspray," did not consider himself a drag queen so much as a character actor. Kelly, too, feels he just happens to be crossing genders as Joni: "A Barbra Streisand queen or a Cher queen, they're very defined, and when they don't do it well enough, it's not working. I really don't look like Joni. It's an acting thing. I change the way I walk, I change my face, my nose tends to feel smaller when I focus on my mouth. . . . But it's not really looking like her and not always even sounding like her. It's more about getting at the essence of something." . . .
Australia: Transgenders, Big Spenders And Suspenders
by Tracey
Chanel is a transsexual sex worker and was just nineteen when she began working the streets. Unlike most young people, Chanel’s worries were not focused on fashion or what she was planning to do on the weekend. Instead, she was more concerned with where was she going to sleep that night and what her next meal would consist of, or more to the point, if she was even going to be having one.
How does someone find themselves in such a predicament? And why, ten years later, does she still choose to work in this industry?
I meet with Chanel at her place of work called Tiffany’s Palace. From the outside it’s fairly unassuming. Inside a number of paintings hang precariously from mauve coloured walls and the aroma of freshly cut flowers linger in dimly lit rooms. A sign on the counter reads, “No condom, no sex”.
I greet her, and soon after, the door bell rings.
“Ooh, that’s our shopper, got any cash on you?” she says excitedly. “She brings make up and sunnies, all sorts of things – real cheap too.”
The shopper enters, high as a kite, her baby son waiting in a pram outside. She’s selling Gucci sunglasses for a tenth of their value, $150 jewellery for $20 a pop and top quality make up at bargain bin prices. She has hats, nail art and moisturisers by the dozen.
‘Welcome to the dark side,’ I think to myself. ‘In just ten minutes of entering Chanel’s world I’ve already rubbed shoulders with sex, drugs and theft.’ Half an hour later and the shopper leaves beaming, with an empty bag and a full wallet.
Chanel is stunning to look at and as she gives me a tour of the parlour I am astonished at how beautiful everything is. It’s not at all like the image I had conjured up in my mind. It’s later that I realise that subverting these kinds of stereotypes is exactly what Chanel is all about. . . .
Rebecca Romijn family fears
10/17/2007 - Rebecca Romijn - The Late Show with David Letterman - October 17, 2007 - Ed Sullivan Theatre - New York City, NY, USA © Janet Mayer / PR Photos
"Ugly Betty" star Rebecca Romijn is worried she may have to quit the show if she wants to have children.
Rebecca, who married actor Jerry O'Connell in the summer, believes the hit US TV show's bosses will struggle to create a pregnancy storyline for her character, because she plays a transsexual.
She said: "Motherhood is absolutely on the cards. I would like to have a couple of kids and I think Jerry would too. I don't know exactly when, but it will be interesting to see how the writers will figure it out if I get pregnant while we are shooting 'Ugly Betty'. My character Alexis Meade is not supposed to have a womb!"
Rebecca, who met Jerry at a Las Vegas hotel three years ago, also revealed she often used her feminine charms to get her way with men before she met Jerry.
The stunning blonde star explained: "Of course I have used my feminine wiles to get what I want. But I really don't manipulate Jerry. We focus on friendship - that comes first with us. That is how we fell in love.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Nina's Unstoppable! desire to be herself
As a child growing up in a Beamsville trailer park, Rodney Arsenault was shown pictures of the beautiful, naked women in Playboy by some other kids.
There was instant attraction – of a very different sort.
There were no pre-pubescent sexual stirrings, but a desire by Rodney to become one of those "gorgeous, glamorous women" he admired, because he was "a little girl trapped in a little boy's body."
By age 24, Rodney had two master's degrees and was one of the youngest course instructors at York University, teaching acting, but was ready to jettison that promising career and his male identity for a female one.
Rodney changed his name to Nina while still at York and let nothing – not money, pain, negative social attitudes or medical concerns deter "her" from that goal, which was achieved after nine years and about 60 cosmetic surgeries and procedures costing $160,000, financed by working in the sex trade.
It's that determination that has Arsenault being cited for this year's Unstoppable! theme award at the annual Pride Gala in Toronto, one of eight persons to be honoured for their achievements in different categories.
"Knowing that Pride Toronto selects one Canadian queer who embodies the event's theme every year, I'm really honoured that it's me. I know so many unstoppable people," Arsenault says.
"I had this long-term vision in my head of the type of woman I wanted to be and that sort of woman doesn't blend in very well. I'm kind of over the top in my gender expression – with all my cosmetic surgeries, the way I wear my hair and my flashy clothes. But I walk down the street every day with dignity." . . .
