Sex and Voices

NPR ran a short (6 min. or so) piece on sexual selection and sex differences in human voice pitch this past Saturday on their "All Things Considered" program.

Interesting report!

"Finding love as a transman"

"Loren Cameron dishes about figuring out what he likes, who he likes, and how he likes it in his years as a transman."

He also notes, "...In my clan there are two of us who are transsexuals: my brother became my sister."

water, rocks and leaves

RED WITHOUT BLUE

"Inherent to the condition of identical twins is the yearning for individuality in the constant presence of a mirror image. "Red Without Blue" reflects on the meaning of twinship and the search for identity through the eyes of Mark, an identical twin, who examines his evolving relationship with his transgender twin, Claire, as she transitions from male to female. Through intimate interviews and striking archival footage, "Red Without Blue" portrays a deeply personal and self-analytical look at the unique and unswerving relationship between Mark and Claire as they each struggle to define their individual identities."

City Drops Plan to Change Definition of Gender

December 6, 2006

By DAMIEN CAVE

New York City’s Board of Health unexpectedly withdrew a proposal yesterday that would have allowed people to alter the sex on their birth certificates without sex-change surgery.

The plan, if passed, would have put New York at the forefront of a movement to eliminate anatomical considerations when defining gender. It had been lauded by some mental health professionals and transgender advocates who said it would reduce discrimination against men and women who lived as members of the opposite sex.

But after the proposed change was widely publicized recently, board members and officials with the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene said that a surge of new concerns arose. Vital records experts said that new federal rules regarding identification documents, due next year, could have forced the policy to be scrapped.

Health officials said patients at hospitals asked how doctors would determine who would be assigned to the bed next to them. And among law enforcement officials, there were concerns about whether prisoners with altered birth certificates could be housed with female prisoners — even if they still had male anatomies.

“This is something we hadn’t fully thought through, frankly,” said Dr. Thomas R. Frieden, the city’s health commissioner. “What the birth certificate shows does have implications beyond just what the birth certificate shows.”

The board did approve a more minor change: Under a law passed in 1971, people who can prove that they had sex-change surgery could delete the male or female designation from their birth certificates. Now, they can change it.

Dr. Frieden said that this would bring New York City in line with most of the country and would help alleviate the transgender community’s concerns about discrimination. He said that going any further would have thrust New York into uncharted territory.

“We felt going into it that it was fairly standard, that other states had it on the books,” Dr. Frieden said. “But as we looked into it, we discovered that it was implicit, not explicit.”

He said it was “unfortunate” that the panel of experts convened by the department to address the proposal did not include anyone from institutions that may have been affected, like jails, schools or hospitals.

The panel instead consisted of doctors, mental-health professionals and advocates who overwhelmingly supported the plan.

Board members said the city should not act alone. Though the board has eagerly jumped ahead with bans on trans fats and smoking in restaurants, it decided against legislating gender on its own.

“We are not the only Department of Health. There is also the New York State Department of Health, federal regulations, and we cannot make this decision alone, said Dr. Sixto R. Caro, a board member and private practitioner in Brooklyn and Manhattan. “We must make the decision together with the Department of Health of New York State. That’s one of the reasons we had no choice but to wait.”

But according to some supporters of the withdrawn proposal, the motivations behind the city’s decision may have more to do with comments like the one sent to the health department by e-mail that asked, “Are you guys losing all sense of moral values?”

James Jay Carafano, a senior fellow at the Heritage Foundation, a conservative research group, said that the new federal identification rules would leave room for public and private agencies to address the issue of the gender.

However, transgender advocates accused the city of bowing to pressure from institutions and residents who feared interacting too closely with men who live as women and women who live as men. They noted that the city would have required doctors to verify that the gender change was permanent.

“I fear that because of the public attention the proposed change had attracted, they lacked the courage to give the proposed amendment the consideration it deserved,” said Shannon Minter, a board member and lawyer for Transgender Law and Policy Institute in New York. “That’s very disappointing.”....

Sewell Chan contributed reporting.

Supporting Boys or Girls When the Line Isn’t Clear

By PATRICIA LEIGH BROWN
Published: December 2, 2006 NYTimes

OAKLAND, Calif., Dec. 1 — Until recently, many children who did not conform to gender norms in their clothing or behavior and identified intensely with the opposite sex were steered to psychoanalysis or behavior modification.

But as advocates gain ground for what they call gender-identity rights, evidenced most recently by New York City’s decision to let people alter the sex listed on their birth certificates, a major change is taking place among schools and families. Children as young as 5 who display predispositions to dress like the opposite sex are being supported by a growing number of young parents, educators and mental health professionals.

Doctors, some of them from the top pediatric hospitals, have begun to advise families to let these children be “who they are” to foster a sense of security and self-esteem. They are motivated, in part, by the high incidence of depression, suicidal feelings and self-mutilation that has been common in past generations of transgender children. Legal trends suggest that schools are now required to respect parents’ decisions.

“First we became sensitive to two mommies and two daddies,” said Reynaldo Almeida, the director of the Aurora School, a progressive private school in Oakland. “Now it’s kids who come to school who aren’t gender typical.”

The supportive attitudes are far easier to find in traditionally tolerant areas of the country like San Francisco than in other parts, but even in those places there is fierce debate over how best to handle the children.

Cassandra Reese, a first-grade teacher outside Boston, recalled that fellow teachers were unnerved when a young boy showed up in a skirt. “They said, ‘This is not normal,’ and, ‘It’s the parents’ fault,’ ” Ms. Reese said. “They didn’t see children as sophisticated enough to verbalize their feelings.”

As their children head into adolescence, some parents are choosing to block puberty medically to buy time for them to figure out who they are — raising a host of ethical questions.

While these children are still relatively rare, doctors say the number of referrals is rising across the nation. Massachusetts, Minnesota, California, New Jersey and the District of Columbia have laws protecting the rights of transgender students, and some schools are engaged in a steep learning curve to dismantle gender stereotypes.

At the Park Day School in Oakland, teachers are taught a gender-neutral vocabulary and are urged to line up students by sneaker color rather than by gender. “We are careful not to create a situation where students are being boxed in,” said Tom Little, the school’s director. “We allow them to move back and forth until something feels right.”

For families, it can be a long, emotional adjustment. Shortly after her son’s third birthday, Pam B. and her husband, Joel, began a parental journey for which there was no map. It started when their son, J., began wearing oversized T-shirts and wrapping a towel around his head to emulate long, flowing hair. Then came his mother’s silky undershirts. Half a year into preschool, J. started becoming agitated when asked to wear boys’ clothing.

En route to a mall with her son, Ms. B. had an epiphany: “It just clicked in me. I said, ‘You really want to wear a dress, don’t you?’ ”

Thus began what the B.’s, who asked their full names not be used to protect their son’s privacy, call “the reluctant path,” a behind-closed-doors struggle to come to terms with a gender-variant child — a spirited 5-year-old boy who, at least for now, strongly identifies as a girl, requests to be called “she” and asks to wear pigtails and pink jumpers to school.

Ms. B., 41, a lawyer, accepted the way her son defined himself after she and her husband consulted with a psychologist and observed his newfound comfort with his choice. But she feels the precarious nature of the day-to-day reality. “It’s hard to convey the relentlessness of it, she said, “every social encounter, every time you go out to eat, every day feeling like a balance between your kid’s self-esteem and protecting him from the hostile outside world.”

The prospect of cross-dressing kindergartners has sparked a deep philosophical divide among professionals over how best to counsel families. Is it healthier for families to follow the child’s lead, or to spare children potential humiliation and isolation by steering them toward accepting their biological gender until they are older?

Both sides in the debate underscore their concern for the profound vulnerability of such youngsters, symbolized by occurrences like the murder in 2002 of Gwen Araujo, a transgender teenager born as Eddie, southeast of Oakland.

“Parents now are looking for advice on how to make life reasonable for their kids — whether to allow cross-dressing in public, and how to protect them from the savagery of other children,” said Dr. Herbert Schreier, a psychiatrist with Children’s Hospital and Research Center in Oakland.

Dr. Schreier is one of a growing number of professionals who have begun to think of gender variance as a naturally occurring phenomenon rather than a disorder. “These kids are becoming more aware of how it is to be themselves,” he said.

In past generations, so-called sissy boys and tomboy girls were made to conform, based on the belief that their behaviors were largely products of dysfunctional homes.

Among the revisionists is Dr. Edgardo Menvielle, a child-adolescent psychiatrist at the Children’s National Medical Center in Washington who started a national outreach group for parents of gender-variant children in 1998 that now has more than 200 participants. “We know that sexually marginalized children have a higher rate of depression and suicide attempts,” Dr. Menvielle said. “The goal is for the child to be well adjusted, healthy and have good self-esteem. What’s not important is molding their gender.”

The literature on adults who are transgender was hardly consoling to one parent, a 42-year-old software consultant in Massachusetts and the father of a gender-variant third grader. “You’re trudging through this tragic, horrible stuff and realizing not a single person was accepted and understood as a child,” he said. “You read it and think, O.K., best to avoid that. But as a parent you’re in this complete terra incognita.”

The biological underpinnings of gender identity, much like sexual orientation, remain something of a mystery, though many researchers suspect it is linked with hormone exposure in the developing fetus.

Studies suggest that most boys with gender variance early in childhood grow up to be gay, and about a quarter heterosexual, Dr. Menvielle said. Only a small fraction grow up to identify as transgender.

Girls with gender-variant behavior, who have been studied less, voice extreme unhappiness about being a girl and talk about wanting to have male anatomy. But research has thus far suggested that most wind up as heterosexual women.

Although many children role-play involving gender, Dr. Menvielle said, “the key question is how intense and persistent the behavior is,” especially if they show extreme distress.

Dr. Robin Dea, the director of regional mental health for Kaiser Permanente in Northern California, said: “Our gender identity is something we feel in our soul. But it is also a continuum, and it evolves.”

Dr. Dea works with four or five children under the age of 15 who are essentially living as the opposite sex. “They are much happier, and their grades are up,” she said. “I’m waiting for the study that says supporting these children is negative.”

But Dr. Kenneth Zucker, a psychologist and head of the gender-identity service at the Center for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, disagrees with the “free to be” approach with young children and cross-dressing in public. Over the past 30 years, Dr. Zucker has treated about 500 preadolescent gender-variant children. In his studies, 80 percent grow out of the behavior, but 15 percent to 20 percent continue to be distressed about their gender and may ultimately change their sex.

Dr. Zucker tries to “help these kids be more content in their biological gender” until they are older and can determine their sexual identity — accomplished, he said, by encouraging same-sex friendships and activities like board games that move beyond strict gender roles.

Though she has not encountered such a situation, Jennifer Schwartz, assistant principal of Chatham Elementary School outside Springfield, Ill., said that allowing a child to express gender differences “would be very difficult to pull off” there.

Ms. Schwartz added: “I’m not sure it’s worth the damage it could cause the child, with all the prejudices and parents possibly protesting. I’m not sure a child that age is ready to make that kind of decision.”

The B.’s thought long and hard about what they had observed in their son. They have carefully choreographed his life, monitoring new playmates, selecting a compatible school, finding sympathetic parents in a babysitting co-op. Nevertheless, Ms. B. said, “there is still the stomach-clenching fear for your kid.”

It is indeed heartbreaking to hear a child say, as J. did recently, “It feels like a nightmare I’m a boy.”

The adjustment has been gradual for Mr. B., a 43-year-old public school administrator who is trying to stop calling J. “our little man.” He thinks of his son as a positive, resilient person, and his love and admiration show. “The truth is, is any parent going to choose this for their kid?” he said. “It’s who your kid is.”

Families are caught in the undertow of conflicting approaches. One suburban Chicago mother, who did not want to be identified, said in a telephone interview that she was drawing the line on dress and trying to provide “boy opportunities” for her 6-year-old son. “But we can’t make everything a power struggle,” she said. “It gets exhausting.”

She worries about him becoming a social outcast. “Why does your brother like girl things?” friends of her 10-year-old ask. The answer is always, “I don’t know.”

Nila Marrone, a retired linguistics professor at the University of Connecticut who consults with parents and schools, recalled an incident last year at a Bronx elementary school in which an 8-year-old boy perceived as effeminate was thrown into a large trash bin by a group of boys. The principal, she said, “suggested to the mother that she was to blame, for not having taught her son how to be tough enough.”

But the tide is turning.

The Los Angeles Unified School District, for instance, requires that students be addressed with “a name and pronoun that corresponds to the gender identity.” It also asks schools to provide a locker room or changing area that corresponds to a student’s chosen gender.

One of the most controversial issues concerns the use of “blockers,” hormones used to delay the onset of puberty in cases where it could be psychologically devastating (for instance, a girl who identifies as a boy might slice her wrists when she gets her period). Some doctors disapprove of blockers, arguing that only at puberty does an individual fully appreciate their gender identity.

Catherine Tuerk, a nurse-psychotherapist at the children’s hospital in Washington and the mother of a gender-variant child in the 1970s, says parents are still left to find their own way. She recalls how therapists urged her to steer her son into psychoanalysis and “hypermasculine activities” like karate. She said she and her husband became “gender cops.”

“It was always, ‘You’re not kicking the ball hard enough,’ ” she said.

Ms. Tuerk’s son, now 30, is gay and a father, and her own thinking has evolved since she was a young parent. “People are beginning to understand this seems to be something that happens,” she said. “But there was a whole lifetime of feeling we could never leave him alone.”

Soap to feature transgender character

"NEW YORK (AP) — In a story unusual even for a soap opera and believed to be a television first, ABC's All My Children this week will introduce a transgender character who is beginning to make the transition from a man into a woman.

The character, a flamboyant rock star known as Zarf, kisses the lesbian character Bianca and much drama ensues. The storyline begins with Thursday's episode of the daytime drama...."

Find a place to live: A Yahoo group.

Here's a Yahoo group "created for the purpose of finding transgender friendly rooms, apartments and housing. This group also contains some resources supporting those in the transgender community.

This group is not meant to be a social group or dating group. The goal of the group is to be a "Bulletin Board" group for local roommate rental ads and transgender news.

This group is the main group of a series of more than 100 groups supporting the transgender community. Other groups in the series can be found in the links section of this group. Many of the other groups have local resources added to each group including transition resources...and other local Yahoo TG group links."

wild turkey family

____________________________________________

Have a relaxing and healthy Thanksgiving holiday!

The Transgender Day of Remembrance...

"...was set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. The event is held in November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder in 1998 kicked off the “Remembering Our Dead” web project and a San Francisco candlelight vigil in 1999. Since then, the event has grown to encompass memorials in dozens of cities across the world."
__________________________________________

Many thanks to Gwendolyn Ann Smith who developed and maintains the "Remembrance" site.

Being transgender no longer about surgery in NY

"Jay Kallio knew at age 4. For Justine Nicholas, the revelation came in kindergarten. Nature had dealt them a confusing anatomy. The genders they were assigned at birth were all wrong.

Now New York City is helping transgender people assume their true identities, proposing changes in the law so they can change the sex on their birth certificates without sex reassignment surgery.

As adults, Jay and Justine have made the transition and live as the other sex, but Jay cannot have the operation for medical reasons. Justine wants to have hers in two years.

The change will allow transgender people to acquire identity documents such as passports that match the way they live. Perhaps just as importantly, official recognition can help a small, stigmatized minority achieve personal and public acceptance.

The proposal goes before the board of health in December."
______________________________

Is this the direction for the future? Watch to see if other major cities follow with similar proposals.

Gender-bending boy fruit flies fight like girls

"In a study that sheds light on the biology of aggression, scientists swapped genes in gender-bending fruit flies to make boys fight like girls and girls fight like boys."

Here's more evidence behavior, at least in part, is a function of genetic endowment.

greens and stones

 

 

A case of serious regrets: MTFTM

This is a transcript of an interview with Alan Finch, an "Australian Story" from 2003, where he discusses his dissatisfaction with MTF transition and the genital surgery he obtained in his early 20s. He has now returned to a masculine gender role and hopes to have partial reconstruction surgery to approximate his former physical appearance.

the fifth estate: BECOMING AYDEN

"Changing sex. Not simple, not well understood, not consistently regulated, but here to stay and getting complicated. One Canadian clinic is carrying out 250 sex reassignments per year.

Women and men of all ages believe that identity is not as simple as what kind of genitalia they happen to be born with. In order to find their true identity, they're prepared to undergo major surgery-which can cost tens of thousands of dollars, and is most often irreversible."

A Canadian television (2004) story about a young FTM's transition...and more.

FTM Passing Tips

...by Andy and many others

canal grande venezia

 

 

Transgender Ad from Italy

The concept of being transgendered is found around the planet and in a variety of forms.

zion national park

Changing Parties—and Sexes—in Utah

"Can a Democrat (who use to be a Republican) and a woman (who used to be a man) win a legislative seat in one of the most conservative states in the nation?

As a man, Jennifer Lee Jackson once served as a Republican city council member in Sandy City, Utah and was even an official in the Mormon church.

She's now become a woman, switched political parties and is running for a seat in the State Senate. Jenny Brundin of member station KUER in Salt Lake City reports on the personal and political journey of an unlikely politician."

Here's a life with plenty of struggles and challenges...and lots of progress...an NPR story and interview in two parts.

Hawaiian's win makes transgender history

"A Hawaii woman won a seat on the state Board of Education and, according to national advocacy groups, a place in history as the nation's highest-ranking transgender elected official.

Kim Coco Iwamoto, a 38-year-old attorney, did not tout her gender status in the campaign but has advocated for transgender youth and related issues. She came in third Tuesday in the competition for three seats on the 14-member board, which governs the islands' 285 public schools."

Her web site: http://kimcoco.com/

maui sunset

Really Changing Sex

Alice Dreger, Ph.D., a professional who works in bioethics and sexology, especially intersex issues, comments on yesterday's story on a proposed plan by New York City officals to make changing gender easier. Also, see her web site: http://www.alicedreger.com/

New York Plans to Make Gender Personal Choice

In the news: The New York Times, 7 November 2006.

U. S. States and Canadian Provinces: Changing Name and Sex on Birth Certificate

The information on this topic was gathered thanks to Becky Allison, M.D. (becky@drbecky.com). Since the information is open to change she cannot guarantee its accuracy. If there is an error or omission please let her know so it can be corrected.

The Witch Head Nebula

...have a cosmic halloween!

"Public opinion polls show Americans support inclusion under law."

"In July 2002, the HRC Foundation commissioned the firm, Lake, Snell, Perry and Associates Inc. to conduct a national opinion poll of American voters on the subject of transgender people and related public policy issues. The poll found a surprisingly high level of familiarity with transgender people. Of those surveyed, seven in 10 said they are familiar with the term transgender, and after being read a brief definition of transgender, nine of 10 voters said they had heard of transgender people.

A plurality of voters say they are neutral toward transgender people. However, those who know a transgender person expressed more positive feelings toward them.

On public policy issues, 61 percent of those polled said that we need laws to protect transgender people from discrimination, and 68 percent said we need a federal hate crimes law that includes transgender people. Seventy-seven percent said that transgender students should be allowed to attend public schools."

Human Rights Campaign Works for Transgender Equal Rights

Information for the transgendered on rights in employment, freedom from discrimination and hate crimes, changing one's name, marriage, adoption, etc.

home in vermont

Sharpen Your Observational Skills

A person exploring a different gender role gives up certain ways of behaving and replaces those old forms of action with new behavior. Learning to blend with other women or men requires that you learn to BECOME A GOOD OBSERVER of the various ways people appear and behave in different situations. Hence, SHARPENING YOUR OBSERVATIONAL SKILLS, especially seeing and listening, may prove very helpful as you modify your gender role. Observing the appearance and behavior of others will provide you with a variety of looks and behaviors from which you can construct and practice the person you wish to be. What you see and hear, in combination with your own creative talents, will enable you to put together a nearly endless variety of possibilities that you'll be able to test until you find something that feels comfortable and works for you. As you make progress your awareness of who you are and what you can do will deepen. You'll learn to creatively copy parts of what you see or hear and then put those parts together to compose something new.

In the beginning, keep things simple and uncomplicated, work on matching or approximating the basics. Go slow. For example, you might focus on blending with others who have your same general characteristics, for example, age, hair and eye color, height and weight, and so on. As you become more comfortable and confident in your chosen role you may wish to become more adventurous and experimental. Don't rush things, change a step at a time. You'll gradually develop a style that fits and feels comfortable. Remember the foundation for this change process is developing good OBSERVATIONAL SKILLS. This will include learning to observe others and learning to observe yourself. Become a good observer of differences in verbal and facial expressions, hand and arm movements, body posture and walk. Observe people as you go through your daily activities, while watching television and films, and listening to the radio. Try observing the nonverbal behavior of television personalities with the audio off or look away and turn the video off and listen to the audio portion alone. Observe the behavior of people in airports and shopping malls. What differences in the behavior of women and men do you see or hear? How do the two genders handle similar situations?

A second part of learning to blend and feel comfortable in your environment is learning to sift and sort the information obtained from observing. You'll want to separate your observations into those things that will work for you, and those things that won't work, or, may even, alas, make your life more difficult. This sifting and sorting is not an easy task but rather something that only comes with practice and a willingness to experiment, evaluate, and make use of feedback from others.

In addition, you may want to consult various books for specific information or even image specialists or coaches who work with color, style, cosmetics, walk and posture, and voice. However, after you learn what you can from observing people and their behavior you'll still need to regularly PRACTICE WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED EVERY DAY. Approach change actively. In the early stages of transition this will mean FOCUSING ON BEING AWARE OF YOUR BEHAVIOR and what is needed to blend comfortably, and then practicing it, and doing it again and again. If something you do doesn't work, don't do it again. Do something different.

In contrast, PROMPTLY SAY GOOD THINGS TO YOURSELF AS YOU HAVE POSITIVE EXPERIENCES. Learn to regularly GIVE YOURSELF COMPLIMENTS as you make progress. This immediate personal recognition of your progress is very important and cannot be under emphasized. KEEP THE CRITICAL REMARKS YOU MAKE ON YOUR BEHAVIOR TO A MINIMUM. The variety of social situations you encounter will each require something somewhat different. Be flexible and DO NEW THINGS. Let go of any actions, thoughts, and feelings that block your progress.

This is the time to be playful, to pretend, to relax and experiment. Summon your acting skills and recall the playful, creative times of childhood. You'll find yourself becoming more flexible, innovative, and varied as time and experience builds. Just as learning to ride a bicycle was once a very conscious, planned, step-by-step activity that eventually became fluid and automatic, so will the expression of your preferred gender role become. Practice your observational skills. Change, and discover what works for you.


Some Questions You May Answer By Observing Others:


1) What are the differences that distinguish the way men and woman walk? Do men and women of the same approximate size tend to walk about the same speed?


2) Do two women walking together tend to walk differently than a man and a woman walking together? If so, in what ways?


3) Is a woman's posture, body position, orientation, etc. different from that of a man while sitting at a table having coffee or a meal? When with a man? When with another woman? When alone?


4) Do men generally make more or less eye contact with the person they are talking to? Are there differences in eye contact when speaking as compared to listening? How about women?


5) Do women and men tend to smile equally frequently during casual conversation? While conducting business?


6) What are the differences in the ways women and men position their arms when sitting? How about their hands? And their legs?


7) How do men and women differ in the ways they tend to position their bodies in chairs or on sofas?


8) If pitch alone is not as important as some people might believe in differentiating a woman's from a man's voice then what speech characteristics are especially important?


9) Do women or men drivers tend to look around more while waiting at a stoplight in a car? Are there age, social class, or ethnic differences?


10) Are there differences between the ways men and women move their eyes and mouths during conversation?


11) Do women and men differ in the ways they stand and leave from a seated position? How about initiating a seated position?


12) If a woman touches her nose when with another person or during a conversation in what ways is she likely to do so? How does a man touch his nose?


13) What are some ways in which men and women use their hands to express themselves during conversations?


14) Are men or women more likely to touch their hair when in the presence of another? How does their touching differ?


15) Do women and men differ in the way they clap? Sneeze? Laugh? Cough?


16) How is a women likely to hold a phone? Is it the same as a man?


17) Are there any differences in the way a woman walks when wearing slacks as compared to a skirt or dress?


18) Do women and men stand at a curb differently while waiting to cross the street?


19) When listening during a conversation are men as likely to nod their heads as women? When does a women nod her head? A man? How do head nods differ for the two genders?


20) How does a man wave good-bye? A woman? How do women and men say hello?


21) Are there differences in the ways men and women terminate phone conversations? Casual conversations? Business conversations? How about opening telephone conversations?


22) How do the ways a woman uses a tissue or handkerchief while in the presence of another person differ from that of a man?


23) Does a woman position her hands on the steering wheel the same as a man while driving a car? While at a stoplight?


24) Are woman as inclined as men to place their hands in their pockets? Under what circumstances?


25) Estimate the percentage of women between the ages of 20 and 30 who wear mini skirts. Between 30 and 40? Between 40 and 50? Over 50? Answer the same question for people wearing shorts.


26) Is the behavior of a woman more like a man's in a formal business setting? How about a casual social situation with business associates, or at a party?


27) Are men or women more likely to lean forward while engaged in conversation?


28) What are some conversational strategies or devices by which women seek to build cooperation and community? Do men generally have similar styles?


29) How do women and men differ in being verbally competitive? Are both genders likely to behave the same when competing, expressing differences in opinion, asking questions, etc.?


30) Are there differences in the frequency of statements of affirmation or denial as compared to the frequency of asking questions in the daily conversations of men and women?


31) Do women generally dress differently in various parts of the Bay Area, e.g., San Francisco vs Palo Alto, Berkeley vs Concord, etc.? How about men? What are the differences for different communities in your geographical area?


32) What are some age, social class, and ethnic differences in the ways women use cosmetics, style their hair, wear jewelry, etc.? Answer the same question for men.


33) What do the two genders do with their hands while standing and talking to another person? While just standing and looking or waiting?


34) Do women and men look differently when riding bicycles? How do women and men athletes look while riding bicycles? On the street? In competition?


35) Do the two genders differ in the ways they talk to children? Play with children? Discipline children? Teach children?


36) What can you learn about hair styles, makeup, grooming, jewelry, various types of clothing, etc. from observing women and men models in newspaper, magazine, and television ads and catalogs for clothing? How do these various features of a person combine to produce an effect, generate feelings, etc.?


37) Notice the many different approaches women have in wearing jewelry and using makeup. How do you decide if a woman is wearing too much makeup or jewelry? Are there times when a certain amount of jewelry is actually needed?


38) What are the differences between men and women in holding and drinking from a cup or glass? Are women as likely as men to drink directly from a soda or beer bottle in a restaurant? What kind of restaurant? What time of the day?


39) Do women and men differ in the way they eat popcorn, a hamburger, an apple, etc.?


40) Do hair styles and the length of hair for men and women tend to change over a person's life span?


41) What are some topics one is likely to find women discussing with each other in casual conversation? In a business conversation? When with men? Answer the same question for men, when together and when with women.


42) Are there differences between women and men in their tendency to look at other people who are walking toward them from the opposite direction while, for example, walking down a sidewalk or shopping mall?


43) How do women and men express disagreement? Anger? Happiness? Sadness? Joy?


44) Do men or women swing their arms more while walking?


45) Are there differences in pacing, speed, and rhythm in the ways women and men move through their daily activities?


46) What are some differences between the two genders in various forms of touching another person of: a) the same gender, and b) the opposite gender?


47) Are there differences between men and women in teasing others? Who teases whom? Are there differences in arguing? Who argues with whom?


48) Is it true that women speak one way when with other women, another way when engaged in business or professional activities, a third way when with men socially, and still a fourth way when with children? Are there differences for men under similar conditions?


49) Do women tell jokes as often as men? When the two genders tell jokes, in general, do they tell different kinds of jokes, jokes with different themes, etc.?


50) Observe the expressions communicated in the eyes of men and women in various advertisements for clothes, sports equipment, cars, cosmetics, and foods. Notice both expressions depicted in magazine and newspaper ads and television commercials. What differences do you see in warmth, power, softness, aggressiveness, attractiveness, intensity, and various other emotions as suggested by the appearance of peoples' eyes? Also, notice how the expression in a person's eyes and mouth combine to produce a certain look. In those cases involving action notice how the eyes, the brows, and the mouth work together to communicate different emotions and feelings. What other attributes of a person contribute to differences in facial expressions in the two genders?

______________________


Gender role behavior, like music, is a form of language and hence communication. As you sharpen your observational skills you'll learn some of the formal differences in gender roles that exist in this time and place. All women do not behave alike in the same or similar situations. The same, of course, is true for men. This raises an interesting question: What are the appearance and behavior characteristics that define a particular gender role?

Expect your observations to elicit a variety of emotions and feelings. If you're not comfortable with what seems to be rather traditional gender roles you can formulate your own personal, androgynous mix of feminine and masculine behaviors that more comfortably defines who you are. The various possibilities are considerable. Eventually you'll decide what fits for you. You are your personal architect!

Practice your observational skills: Observe others and observe yourself. Be aware of how you walk, talk, and in general behave in different situations. Compare what you say and do to the behavior of other women and men in your area. Everyday pick a couple of the preceding questions to answer and see what you find. What other differences in gender role behavior, not suggested here, do you see as you observe the behavior of various men and women?

Sharpening your observational skills will provide you with information to construct a gender role that feels comfortable and works for you. Hence, you define your gender by the way you appear and behave. Your goal is to develop a presentation that helps rather than hurts you as you change.


Some Interesting Readings:

Brownmiller, Susan. (1984). Femininity. New York: Linden / Simon & Schuster.

Devor, Holly. (1989). Gender Blending: Confronting The Limits of Duality. Bloomington and Indianapolis: Indiana University Press.

Kessler, Suzanne & McKenna, Wendy. (1978). Gender: An Ethnomethodological Approach. New York: John Wiley and Sons.

Lakoff, Robin (1975). Language and Woman's Place. New York: Harper and Row.

Tannen, Deborah (1986). That's Not What I Meant! How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships. New York: Ballantine Books.

Tannen, Deborah (1990). You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York: Ballantine Books.

fall colors along the road

Is DES a factor in the genesis of gender identity?

Click on the title above for the GenderTalk program where Wayne Beyer & Scott Kerlin, doctor and researcher, discuss the impact of DES exposure on male offspring.

The website for the DES-Trans Gender Support Group is at: groups.yahoo.com/group/des-trans. You can join the DES-Trans email group by sending a blank e-mail to: des-trans-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

"DES (diethylstilbestrol) is a synthetic estrogen drug that was given to millions of pregnant women primarily from 1938-1971. Use of DES during pregnancy was thought to prevent miscarriage and ensure a healthy pregnancy. DES did not work, and women who took DES and the children they carried are at risk for certain health problems and may need special care. Find out if you were exposed to DES and if you were, tell your doctor." http://www.desaction.org/what.htm

In addition, see the archives of GenderTalk (link on the right) for other informative and challenging presentations. Highly recommended!

Harry Benjamin, M.D. (1886-1987)

"The Transsexual Phenomenon" by Harry Benjamin, M.D.

This seminal major book, published in 1966, helped get health care professionals interested in treating a population of individuals learning they are not alone.

GenderQueer

What is GenderQueer?

My Daughter's Brave Choice

A young German TS

A Letter To Would-Be Transsexuals

Counterpoint...a new set of challenges

thriving

What Do I Want?

1) How do I want to live my life? What do I need to do to be satisfied?

2) What gender expression or role fits for me? How can I tell if my preferred role fits and is the most livable role for me?

3) What are some safe ways to test or explore my preferred gender?

4) Do I want to change my gender role, or can I be happy as a cross dresser (part-time gender role changer), or as a fantasizer?

5) What occupation(s) might enable me to support myself and finance the costs of changing gender roles? Can I change gender expression or role on my present job? How will I support myself if my present job doesn't work out?

6) Do I want to change hormones? What are the pros and cons of hormone therapy?

7) Will my sexuality change as I change, that is, will I be attracted to women, men, both, or neither? Am I mainly attracted to transgender persons?

8) How do I explain my changes to my family and friends? Where can I gain social support?

9) What if changing gender roles doesn't work. Can I go back to where I was before?

10) Do I need to have genital surgery to feel complete? What are the pros and cons of genital reconstruction?

11) Are there some less complicated or less risky ways to deal with my gender issues?

12) How will I know if changing gender expression or role works for me? How do I measure my progress?

to blossom is to be

Answers to Your Questions About Transgender Individuals and Gender Identity

American Psychological Association

Two-Spirit Cultures

"Two-Spirit People, or one called a 'Berdache,' or even one of the 'third gender,' are individuals not caterigorized as either gay or lesbian, transvestite or bisexual. Those who, in many Native American Cultures, who are respected and looked apon as people who are both male and female, making them more complete, more balanced than simply a man or a woman. Before those from Europe came from across the waters, and took over their land, these people were part of the 'norm,' connected with the very heartbeat of the life force we are all part of. Even today, Berdaches are accepted in many American Indian societies and in other settings."

a rose is a rose...

I am ME

In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. There are persons who have some parts like me, but no one adds up exactly like me. I have some parts like others but I don't add up to be exactly like anyone else. Therefore, everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone chose it.

I own everything about me -- my body, including everything it does; my mind, including all its thoughts and ideas; my eyes, including the image of all my eyes behold; my feelings, whatever they may be -- anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement; my mouth and all that comes out of it....words, polite, sweet, or rough....correct and incorrect; my voice, loud or soft; and all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.

I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. I own all my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. Being very well acquainted with me, I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts.

In being well-acquainted with myself, loving myself, and being friendly with myself, I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.

I know that there are aspects about myself I do not know, and there are parts of me that puzzle me.

As long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for the solution to the puzzles and continually look for ways to find out more about me -- how I look and sound, what I say and do, and how I think and feel.

No one else looks and sounds, says and does, and thinks and feels exactly like me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment is me. It is authentic and represents where I am at that moment in time.

When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I thought and felt, parts may turn out to be unfitting and I can discard that which is unfitting and keep that which proved fitting and learn something new for that which I discarded.

I am me and I am okay.

I own me and therefore I can engineer me.

I can learn all the new things that I need and discard all the things that no longer fit.

I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I will then have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I am Me and I AM OK.

~ Virginia M. Satir

What are the chances of passing for a man or a woman somewhere in Andromeda (M31)?

Passing thoughts on blending for the transgender M to F person

The practical matters involved in "passing" often challenge persons formally diagnosed as TS, those who may believe they are TS, and a certain subset of transgender individuals generally. This paper is a springboard for thoughts on this important and sometimes difficult to discuss topic.

The list, including a dash of humor, was composed by a client I saw in therapy some years ago. I offer it here, in her words, with some minor editing and with her permission:

“The following suggestions may be helpful to you if you get turned off (and not turned on) by being "read" in public settings. If you feel any of these ideas are silly or plain stupid, just sigh deeply and move on to the next one, or propose an alternative way of looking at things.

To begin then:

1. Effective passing is a workable combination of the correct or appropriate behavior and appearance for the situation, i.e., actions, clothing, makeup, etc. Your ability to relax, feel good about yourself, and blend with your environment is especially important. Attitude helps a lot!

A person who sees or meets you for the first time wants to be able to quickly classify you as M or F. If you’re ambiguous or present conflicting cues expect to make people curious and/or anxious. If a person can't quickly and comfortably classify you into one of these two categories they’ll spend extra time searching your “image” until they’re able to come up with enough cues to make a classification and reduce their discomfort, satisfy their curiosity, etc. They may even ask for assistance in identifying you from someone who is with them. Once they know your gender (they’ll probably think of it as “sex,” but you’ll be wearing clothes, right? So they won’t really know your sex.) then they'll know how to respond to you, e.g., whether to flirt or not to flirt! The worse thing that could happen would be for someone not to precisely know your gender and then make an error in relating to you. This could summon their deepest homosexual fears and send them into a tizzy, perhaps, creating some kind of scene on the very spot, pronto. Maybe they’ll have a seizure, or hemorrhage, or something worse. Spare the public this potential trauma. Find the right cues to feed them!

2. If passing is your goal you must first deal effectively with any distracting hair problems you may have, especially facial and other head hair problems. That may mean electrolysis and a good quality hair piece or wig—or moving to Iran and wearing a veil.

3. You may do best (and learn a lot about styles and how they change, too) if you strive to match "the average woman" in dressing and behavior for your location, age, size, etc. I know you're above average, but you'll just have to pretend! You may pass better dressing-down as compared to dressing-up.

4. It's better to err on the conservative side in clothing, shoes, and makeup. For example, skirts or dresses, knee length or longer will attract less attention. Leave the tight skirts to Tina Turner unless you've got the legs, hips, and butt to fill one—and you're prepared to handle the attention a tight or short skirt generates! Nice slacks or jeans may also work well if you have a butt…or are willing to get one.

5. Conservative, but “in-style,” footwear will work best. Comfortable footwear makes a natural, gender appropriate walk easier. A shoe color that matches or blends with your hose and fits your overall outfit will draw less attention to your feet. Sandals can be quite comfortable, stylish, and make for easy walking. They also have a long season especially here in California.

6. Avoid heavy, especially dark, eye makeup, e.g., black eye liner on your lower lids, gloppy mascara, etc. Ok, go ahead, if it helps you get into your streetwalker fantasy—for your safety and health, though, let's hope it's just a fantasy and nothing more. Don't expect heavy eye makeup to go over real dandy at your local mall unless, maybe, you're a fourteen year old or fixing to catch yourself a man. And yes, some men you’ll catch you’ll want to throw back in the pond, I bet.

7. Easy does it on jewelry—a few pieces of good or better quality jewelry may work best for you. Stay away from cheap costume jewelry unless you want to be a girl clown. Get dressed up, look the situation over, and then take a piece off (maybe, two pieces for you, Laverne).

8. Pierced earrings or clip-ons that imitate pierced ears will help create the needed effect. Drop or dangling earrings don’t look good with glasses (unless you're in Oklahoma!)—stick to studs or button earrings. Not wearing earrings is almost as serious as not carrying a purse—or not having a Visa card!

9. Shorter hair styles tend to be preferred by women as they mature. Few professional women over 40 wear their hair below their shoulders. But as you know almost all men like long hair on women. You may want to avoid the “big hair” look, too.

10. Tall women typically look best in longer hairstyles, e.g., shoulder length. Short hair will make a tall woman look even taller. Conversely, short women look shorter with long hair and taller with short hair. And remember, no hair will make a woman look like Yul Brenner or just plain bald!

11. Avoid garish clothing combinations. Learn to put an outfit together. Learn what styles and colors work best for you. One of the neat things about a nice dress is you don’t have to find a skirt and blouse combination that works—unless you’re one of those folks who wear several outfits at the same time! If you want to look like a caricature of a woman or a clown go to a drag party or waddle off and join a circus.

12. Mind your own business when in public. Avoid unnecessary eye contact. If you're tall, learn to recognize the difference between attracting attention because you're tall, and visually striking, verses getting read because your dress and/or behavior is not congruent with others’ expectations. If you make nervous, wasteful eye contact you may make yourself and others anxious and, perhaps, suspicious. If you make a lot of nervous eye gestures while in a store you might feel you’re being read because others are watching you, especially clerks, while actually they may be checking you out, to see if you’re a shoplifter. On the other hand, make eye contact with salespeople, when appropriate and needed.

13. Practice walking a little slower than you might ordinarily walk. Keep your feet and knees reasonably close together. Walk by placing one foot in front of the other. Point your toes—avoid a duck or pigeon walk. You don't have to walk exactly like a fashion model, but an approximation to that style and less of a walk like a lumberjack or chimpanzee may help.

14. If your hands tend to be on the large side, rings, nail polish, vampire nails, etc. will draw attention to them. So be careful. You don't want a stake through your heart, especially while shopping at Nordstrom's or Bloomingdales! Also, if you do have large hands, carry a large purse.

15. If your legs are still muscular from your days on the Celtics (or was it the Lakers?) wear darker colored hose, i.e., blacks, grays, or the darker flesh tones. Some people may want to wear two pairs. (I'm not talking about four legged folks here.) Also, black shoes generally go best with black hose. Stay away from black hose and those white or red pumps that light-up your feet!

16. Some clothing is almost always in-style, for almost anyone, e.g., a nice medium length skirt. On the other hand, certain other clothes are currently out-of-style or don't look good for some reason, e.g., a mini skirt on most 35+ year old women. Remember if you wear, e.g., 50's or 60's, etc. style clothing in 2006 you may attract attention you don't want. So determine what you want and find out what works best for you.

17. If you need or want plastic surgery you may want to use your money and time for something that will more immediately help you pass, e.g., a nose or jaw job or apple shave rather than breast implants. On the other hand, if implants will help you feel significantly better about yourself and raise your self-esteem, they're probably worth it. Ask lots of questions. Check around, talk to others who have had the procedure, and get the best surgeon you can.

18. You’ve noticed women typically talk more than men. Hence, work on your voice if you intend to talk to people. Practice with a tape recorder, shadow women talking on radio and T.V., get an evaluation and recommendations from a speech and voice specialist. Call 800 numbers for free practice talking to people on the phone. If your work involves lots of talking on the phone with clients, business associates, etc, you'll want to get your phone voice together real quick. If you don't intend to talk to people you might want to consider moving to another planet or hop in you time machine and be a silent movie actress.

In addition, don't forget to work on your nonverbal behavior, e.g., eye contact, posture, hand and facial expressions, etc. which is very important in communicating your gender in face-to-face conversations. If you can learn to feel comfortable talking to a person one-to-one it can be the basis on which future relationships are built. This face-to-face relating to another person can often be developed as you work with a good therapist in building your presentation as a woman or man over a period of months or even several years.

19. Exercise, workout. You'll be healthier, look better in your clothes, and feel better about yourself. Regular exercise can help reduce stress and depression, too.

20. You may be fat, short, tall, or not particularly beautiful, but you may still pass if you work at the essentials and have enough time and money (for electrolysis, etc.) to take the steps that becoming a woman (or man) involves. Looking like a Bozo is much easier than building a passing image or presentation. It's trite but true; women and men come in all shapes, sizes, and styles. There may very well be a look that will work for you. Search for it.

21. Practice will produce improvement. Socialize and grow. You’ll get better with experience. Stay at home and stay where you are! Set small achievable goals for yourself. Be patient. Go slow. Be realistic. Be kind to yourself. Revise plans as needed. Always have a Plan A and a Plan B.

22. If you look as good as you can, or reasonably close to it, and feel good about yourself, you'll enhance your chances of doing well in public. A licensed therapist, well experienced in the gender area, might be able to help you understand yourself, assess your motivation, and assist you in formulating goals and developing plans. Ask yourself: Given what I've got, and what's possible for me, what do I need to do to develop my potential and maximize my image? You may find that you can fit in and, in the process, build yourself a better life.

23. When things go well for you say something nice to yourself, give yourself a word or two of praise, produce a positive thought. Give yourself compliments and avoid destructive forms of self-criticism. Occasionally, give yourself some sort of treat, maybe even buy yourself something! Work at reducing those negative or critical thoughts. You've probably already had much more than your share of negative or critical comments in your life from others, who don't understand you. Don't add to them. Spend time with people who treat you well and appreciate you. If things don’t go as well as you would like, learn from your mistakes, then produce positive change. Talk things over with friends. Setbacks occur for everyone. Bounce back, get on track.

24. You might want to learn to practice meditation at home as another way to help you relax and reduce stress when you're out in public. Use a phrase that includes your name as your mantra, e.g., “Relax Rhonda,” (of course, if your name is Ruby Begonia, just say “Relax Ruby”). Then repeat that phrase to yourself when you're in a public setting and you feel a little tense or anxious. You'll relax, feel a lot better, and gain even more control of your life.”

* * *

Notice the author uses the words “pass” or “passing” in the list above. How do you feel about this? Is it better to think of striving to “blend” with other women or men? What’s the difference between “passing” and “blending?” What do these two words mean to you?

I'd love to have you add to this list. The preceding is just a start. Share your experience and creativity! I'm confident people ranging from beginners to those living full time in their preferred gender roles for years all have something to add. I'll bet this list could be hundreds of items long and wonderfully helpful for those changing gender roles.

In addition, what would a list exclusively devoted to FTM spectrum persons be like?

An animal has a sex, but does it have a gender?

That's not pucker paint on our camel. Ms. or Mr. (?) camel just finished a bowl full of berries.

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What do you do for fun?
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bike riding skiing photography reading cooking sewing

gardening driving shopping computing dancing football

tennis sex walking boating decorating writing painting gaming

raising animals astronomy rock climbing traveling music watching

TV singing acting building fishing bowling horseback riding

talking swimming hiking motorcycling studying surfing

designing playing chess golf softball jogging drawing

eating flying night clubs playing with pets collecting . . .

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Which ones? How often?
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

A person who doesn't have a balanced life, for example, work, recreation, and other activities, may gradually come to experience what is often called ordinary or garden variety depression. Significantly reduced or increased appetite or sleep, listlessness, a lack of energy or interest in life, sadness, blunted or constricted emotions, a general slowing in responsiveness and activity, trouble doing routine household tasks, and so on are characteristics. High drive college students, professionals, and others who devote nearly all their energies to achievement and accomplishment may gradually come to experience ordinary or garden variety depression.

Persons with a history of gender dysphoria also often report depression, or sometimes, even more serious forms of a deeper depression. That state typically leads to a reduction in the quality of life and problems functioning. Regularly engaging in recreational or fun oriented activities, especially those that involve some vigorous movement for an extending period of time, say, 45 minutes or so per day, or at least several times per week, may contribute to a reduction in some forms of depression. When this approach is indicated, a person shouldn't expect results immediately; it may take a few weeks or more to show positive results.

In other words, doing fun activities may contribute to a sense of well being and can help a person construct a life that works, a life that provides a sense of quality, peace and happiness. I must add, however, some depression is the result of events other than restricted lives; such things as lack of work, relationship problems, physical illness, or perhaps the loss of a loved one. There also are biologically based forms of depression involving a chemical imbalance in one's brain that in most cases is probably inherited. These types of depression are often deeper, recurrent and may only yield to more aggressive forms of treatment such as psychotherapy, often combined with antidepressant medication, prescribed by a physician, typically a psychiatrist.

In general, depression is probably the most common form of emotional distress people experience. It's something we all experience from time to time. However, it's treatable. But it's important to remember, for some forms of depression, professional help is essential.

What do you do for fun?

a touch of spring in berkeley

Where Am I On The Gender Spectrum?

People of almost any age, sometimes as early as age 3, may be uneasy or seriously unhappy with the gender role their parents and other agents of socialization (relatives, teachers, neighbors, and other members of the person's community) have attempted to encourage. They may be seen as significantly gender variant. They are typically and fundamentally unhappy with the social gender role or gender expression expected by parents, teachers and others who have known them since an early age. If this situation persists, the person may eventually be diagnosed as showing what therapists have historically referred to as "gender identity disorder." However, another way of looking at this is that it is actually others who are unhappy with the person's gender expression. Others seek to shape the person as they feel they should be rather than respect them as they are. What is commonly referred to as gender is actually a spectrum of feelings, presentations, and actions found in males and females in different places and times.

Many reflective people have probably wondered what it is like to be a member of the "other" gender; if a woman, what it is like to be a man, and if a man, what it is like to be a woman (although in general, fewer men tend to publicly acknowledge cross gender speculations). Some have carried opposite gender desires a step further, and may have actually experimented with changing gender roles, perhaps after discovering, in extreme cases, that their personal experience of gender does not match their genital sex and the gender role or expression assigned or expected since birth.

Hence, the significantly gender variant child, adolescent, or adult typically shows an orientation commonly found in what is ordinarily called the "opposite" gender. Because this sometimes generates confusion and fear in others, people who are markedly gender variant may suffer discrimination and pain. This may be inflicted by others who hold rigid, polarized, two gender world views concerning how others should act or behave. These negative, painful reactions to one's behavior may contribute to significant impairment in a person's ability to function in his or her social, educational, and work settings. The anxiety and stress produced by rejection and gender expression or role censorship can be profound. Professionals, specializing in gender issues, now know there are a variety of ways to handle such situations. Parents, for example, can be educated regarding raising a child with mixed or alternative gender expression. An adult, who is markedly gender variant, may seek other ways to live his or her life. A person can hence explore other paths with less pain and more opportunity to develop one's potential.

In other words, individuals who are uncomfortable with their gender may explore a spectrum of alternative gender roles or expressions. Or, perhaps, using another approach, a person might blend gender roles, or make small changes in one's current gender expression to gain a degree of comfort.

On the other hand, changing gender expression is often an emotionally tumultuous and risky venture. Hence, some may find it desirable to delay or postpone any form of change. It is also possible some individuals may have discovered unique ways of dealing with gender expression presently unknown to professionals.

Ambivalence regarding one's gender role may also be a major factor in the generation of conflicting emotions. Some individuals with significant gender issues occasionally feel significant conflict with their motivations to change or accept their socially assigned gender role. They may discount their feelings or reject their motivations to adjust or change. Denial or suppression of feelings is common. Exploring feelings of shame, self acceptance, feelings of ambivalence, or self-loathing, in therapy or counseling may help a person achieve some resolution and obtain a measure of peace. Sometimes a starting point is asking: 1) What do I want? 2) What must I do to accept who I am? And, 3) Is my gender negotiable; do I want to live my life for myself or others?

Furthermore, almost without exception, gender expression and role issues are very difficult for families, spouses and significant others to understand. Hence education is essential. In addition, counseling and connection with support groups for significant others may help reduce the stress and confusion a family experiences as a person explores issues and finds a life path that works.

Twenty or so years ago, mental health professionals tended to see the "gender dysphoric" population as often having significant psychopathology and mainly composed of those with extreme internal pressure to surgically change sex. In contrast, today we recognize persons with gender expression and role differences compose a very heterogeneous population with a variety of personal issues. There are many different paths available to these persons who, as a group, are now often referred to as transgender. Gender variance is a fundamental characteristic of people around the planet and we are increasingly aware of it.

In some cases, a person may feel better making subtle changes in one's gender role. For others, a part time exploration of a different role (perhaps while participating in a transgender social and support group) might produce valuable information concerning what needs to be done. For still others, comfort might be obtained by transition from a masculine to a full time feminine gender role, or the reverse.

A person might use a variety of strategies or technologies to change his or her appearance and behavior. For instance, a person may access the powerful technologies of behavior change, hormone therapy, and plastic surgery to closely approximate the target body and gender of the preferred sex.

In other cases, one might use some, but not all, of these various technologies or change procedures. For example, a person might experiment or play, part time, with dressing as a member of the other gender and, with time, learn to feel good and accept oneself as a cross dresser. Still another person might do this full time, including working as a woman or man, perhaps while taking hormones associated with the experienced gender. Sometimes marked discomfort with one's body is a central component of one's experience. Hence, some might find it very important to have surgery so their inner experience, sense of self, social role and body all match as closely as possible. In essence, in the latter case, a person makes the outside (appearance and behavior) more closely match the inside (sense of self). Many experience new feelings and emotions as they change in multiple ways.

Hence, presently, it is clear there is really a spectrum of people who seek help dealing with different levels of gender role concerns. In many cases the various feelings that motivate significant gender expression or exploration are profound and life long. Many are searching for solutions to their gender issues. A common characteristic is that all seek life paths that will work for them. This article is for those persons (and interested others) as they embark on a journey to explore possible solutions and find a gender expression that fits.

Disclaimer: This site should not be viewed as providing therapeutic advice. The material is presented without profit or monetary gain and should not be used as a substitute for a formal medical/psychological diagnosis or treatment with a qualified professional. Copyright Statement: Material in this blog is for information and educational purposes only. This is in accordance with Title 17 U.S. C. section 107. The content of the postings do not constitute endorsement of the articles by Dr. Auge; Point of view, critique or opinion articles may also help educate interested readership about contrary and unfavorable positions. It is important to be aware that what is often regarding as "truth" or "reality" is a function of time, place and circumstances. Dr. Auge does not warrant the completeness, correctness, timeliness, usefulness or accuracy of any of the information provided herein. You should not rely upon this information as a substitute for consultation with a qualified physician or mental health provider prior to starting any treatment or if you have any questions related to your health, physical fitness, psychological or medical conditions. Reading or using the material on this site, without being a formal client of Dr. Auge, does not constitute the establishment of a client / therapist relationship with Dr. Auge. Practice good judgment and discuss your concerns with a qualified licensed therapist experienced in working with clients on gender related issues.

Blog design concept © (2006) by Rebecca Auge, Ph.D. All rights reserved. No claim to other authors' works is intended or implied. Dr. Auge is a licensed psychologist (PSY 6644) in California with specialties in relationships and gender related issues, assessment, therapy, and consultation. If Dr. Auge's name and address appear with the article, a complete article published on these web pages and authored by Dr. Auge may be reprinted in nonprofit organizations' newsletters. Please do not quote portions of articles out of context. Other publications must obtain written permission from Dr. Auge to reprint articles. Please send a copy of your gender / transgender related publication / URL to Dr. Auge.