Monday, April 30, 2007
Susan Estrich on . . . From Mike To Christine
How dare he use the sports pages to unburden himself, a number of people have argued, on the paper's own website and on others that focus on sports. Weird, others said, in comments that can't be repeated here.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Sportswriter Takes Transgender Identity Public
Mike Penner of the L.A. Times Wrote a Column to Explain Some Changes, Including His New Name: Christine
By LAURA COVERSON
April 27, 2007 —
This week veteran sportswriter Mike Penner crossed a line, and there is no turning back.
Using his newspaper -- the Los Angeles Times -- as a platform, the prolific Penner announced yesterday that he was taking a vacation and that when he returned, things in his life would be very different, including his name:
"I will come back in yet another incarnation. As Christine," Penner wrote.
Writing under the byline of Mike Penner for the last time, the 49-year-old journalist candidly described the pain of a lifetime feeling like a woman trapped in a man's body.
"It has taken more than 40 years, a million tears and hundreds of hours of soul-wrenching therapy for me to work up the courage to type those words," Penner confessed. "I am a transsexual sportswriter."
Transgender is the term used to describe "people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from the sex they were assigned at birth," according to the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLADD).
The term transgender can include not only those who pursue sexual reassignment, as Penner has, but also cross-dressers and other "gender variant people," according to GLADD.
The American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistics Manual, DSM- IV, "suggests that roughly one per 30,000 adult males and one per 100,000 adult females seek [sex-reassignment surgery]."
Penner said the research suggests nature, not nurture, is primarily responsible for the confusion that can produce a life of agony.
"Recent studies have shown that such physiological factors as genetics and hormonal fluctuation during pregnancy can significantly affect how our brains are 'wired' at birth," he wrote in the Times. "As extensive therapy and testing have confirmed, my brain was wired female."
Mostly Positive Reaction
Buoyed by the mostly positive response to her revelation, Christine Daniels consented to have the tables turned on the journalist and be the subject of a follow-up story by a fellow Los Angeles Times reporter.
She walked into the lobby of the Times building yesterday afternoon as a woman.
According to the story posted last night on latimes.com, the tall Daniels (her middle name as a man was Daniel) wore slacks, a blouse with flowers, a bit of make-up and a wig of long, strawberry blond hair that she will don while growing out her own hair.
"Writing that piece, which I didn't initially want to write, ended up becoming one of the best things I have ever done," Daniels told Times staff writer James Rainey.
"And a day I dreaded all my life has ended up being one of the best days I've ever had."
By the end of the day, the Times reported Daniels had received 538 e-mails. Only two of them negative.
Like the personal e-mails, postings on the latimes.com message board were largely positive. But there were some who took issue with both Penner's story and his decision to live as a woman.
"It's a pity you couldn't get the substantive therapy you needed," said one, according to the Times. "There's nothing 'natural' about what you describe, and the fact that your DNA doesn't change is proof."
Daniels' role as a transgender sports reporter could pose unique challenges. The world of sports and sports reporting is more associated with maleness and traditional masculinity than perhaps any endeavor, other than warfare. Though women have staked out turf on the playing field, sports are still mostly identified with masculinity.
Sexual Orientation in the Sports World
People in sports who have sexual orientations that are different from the majority have traditionally been inclined to keep their private lives, private. And like the military, athletes and those that cover them have tended to follow a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
Going public about one's sexuality is never a completely smooth journey, suggests former NBA player John Amaechi.
In February, with the publication of his book "Man in the Middle" (ESPN Books), Amaechi became the the first professional basketball player to openly admit his homosexuality.
"This man is truly brave," Amaechi said of Penner. "Your average jock will initially have a hard time viewing him as a woman."
"People don't understand homosexuality or bisexuality, and transsexualism is a taboo in some respects, even within the gay community," suggested Amaechi, who is now a psychologist.
Still, the former Penn State hoops star predicts the response of athletes is likely to be no different than the general population from which they come.
"You will have some who are miserably against it. You will have the people who are very supportive and some who are part ambivalent and part confused," said Amaechi.
"I think it is going to take some real adjustment on the part of other sportswriters in the Los Angeles Times newsroom, other people in the sports media here in Los Angeles, athletes that she comes in contact with," said Steve Mason, sports talk show host for 710-AM radio (ESPN) in Los Angeles.
But Mason, who praised the "heartfelt" column, also said it's hard not to root for Christine Daniels.
"You feel for this person and what they have gone through," said Mason. "But I am one who believes people are far more enlightened, even in the world of sports, than people give all of us credit for, and I think she will be just fine."
Howard Bragman, head of the Los Angeles public relations firm Fifteen Minutes, applauded the forthright approach taken by Mike Penner.
"This is a courageous act. He's putting a face to something that is not really talked about, " said Bragman, whose firm represents several high-profile gay athletes, including Amaechi, former WNBA all-star Sheryl Swoops and golfer Rosie Jones.
"By writing the column and controlling the first information that is out there, you really get to set the agenda for how to discuss it," Bragman said.
Life Across the Line
Characterizing herself as a "transitioning transsexual," Daniels told the Times she began dressing full time as Christine four months ago, when she began taking hormones.
Concerned for her privacy, Daniels said that it's "too early" to reveal whether she intends to have surgery to complete the physical change from male to female.
Mike Penner was married to a fellow sportswriter at the Times, and there are unconfirmed reports that the pair have separated.
After 23 years with the Los Angeles Times, Christine Daniels' future there may be changing as well. After a few weeks of vacation, she plans to return to the paper.
In addition to a sports blog, latimes.com reportedly plans to offer her space to chronicle this watershed period of her life and gender transformation.
The tentative title for the column: "Woman in Progress."
TransKids Purple Rainbow
http://www.transkidspurplerainbow.org/
Their goal is to fund research and education about transgender issues.
Below are other resources for adults and young people who are transgender or are just interested in learning more:
For Parents
TRANSFAMILY: http://www.transfamily.org/
A support group for transgender and transsexual people, their parents and families.
PFLAG TRANSGENDER NETWORK: http://pflag.org/TNET.tnet.0.html
Focuses on support, education and advocacy for trans people and their families.
CHILDREN'S NATIONAL MEDICAL CENTER: http://www.dcchildrens.com/gendervariance
Support groups for parents who want to affirm young children with gender-variant behaviors.
GENDER ODYSSEY CONFERENCE: http://www.transconference.org/family/index.htm
National conference for families with gender variant and transgender children.
FAMILY ACCEPTANCE PROJECT: http://familyproject.sfsu.edu
Research on LGBT adolescents and young adults and their families. Developing family education materials, and assessment and intervention materials for providers.
GENDER SPECTRUM EDUCATION AND TRAINING: http://www.genderspectrum.org/
Provides education, resources and training to create a more gender sensitive and supportive environment for all children.
For Children and Teens
SMYAL -- SEXUAL MINORITY YOUTH ASSISTANCE LEAGUE: http://www.smyal.org/
A social services organization for lesbian, gay and transgender youth.
GLSEN -- GAY LESBIAN STRAIGHT EDUCATION NETWORK: http://www.glsen.org/
Works with school officials to ensure that transgender, gay and lesbian students are not harassed or bullied.
NATIONAL YOUTH ADVOCACY COALITION: http://www.nyacyouth.org/
Advocacy organization for young people, including transgender youth.
PROJECT 10: http://www.lausd.k12.ca.us/lausd/offices/eec/project10.htm
A Los Angeles Unified School District program that offers technical and educational support to schools and lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender students.
HETRICK MARTIN INSTITUTE: http://www.hmi.org/
A social services agency for transgender and gay youth in New York City. Also runs the Harvey Milk High School, a public school for LGBT youth.
For Adults
FTM INTERNATIONAL: http://www.ftmi.org/
Runs support groups for female to male (FTM) transsexuals in cities around the world.
TS ROAD MAP: http://www.tsroadmap.com/
An on-line guide for people in the process of transitioning.
THE TRANSITIONAL MALE: http://www.thetransitionalmale.com/
Resources and information specifically for FTMs.
Health and Medicine
WORLD PROFESSIONAL ASSOCIATION FOR TRANSGENDER HEALTH: http://www.wpath.org/
A professional medical organization formerly known as the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association.
DIMENSIONS CLINIC: http://www.dimensionsclinic.org
Drop-in groups, mental health, medical care, and hormonal treatment for transgender teens.
BROADWAY YOUTH CENTER: http://www.howardbrown.org
Full youth support services including drop-in groups, mental health, medical care, hormonal treatment.
THE MAZZONI CENTER: http://www.mazzonicenter.org/
LGBT health center in Philadelphia.
WALKER-WHITMAN CLINIC: http://www.wwc.org/
Provides health services for LGBT people in Washington, DC.
CALLEN-LORDE COMMUNITY HEALTH CENTER: http://www.callen-lorde.org/
A primary health center serving New York City's LGBT population.
Homeless Shelters for LGBT Youth
THE ARK OF REFUGE: http://www.arkofrefuge.org/
San Francisco, CA
JEFF GRIFFITH YOUTH CENTER OF THE L.A. GAY & LESBIAN CENTER: http://www.lagaycenter.org/site/c.mvI4IhNZJwE/b.893343/k.B313/Homeless_Services.htm
Los Angeles, CA
WALTHAM HOUSE: http:www.thehome.org
Boston, MA
RUTH ELLIS CENTER: http://www.ruthelliscenter.com
Highland Park, MI
THE ALI FORNEY CENTER: http://www.aliforneycenter.org
New York, NY
SYLVIA'S PLACE: http://www.sylviasplace.org
New York, NY
GREEN CHIMNEYS: http://www.greenchimneys.org/
New York, NY
Advocacy Groups
GENDERPAC: http://www.gpac.org/
Works to promote freedom of gender expression.
GENDER EDUCATION AND ADVOCACY: http://www.gender.org/
Focuses on the needs and issues of gender variant people.
INTERNATIONAL FOUNDATION FOR GENDER EDUCATION: http://www.ifge.org/
An advocacy and educational group promoting free gender expression.
NCLR TRANSGENDER LAW PROJECT: http://www.nclrights.org/projects/transgenderproject.htm
Lawyers who represent transgender youth and adults on a range of legal issues.
NATIONAL CENTER FOR TRANSGENDER EQUALITY: http://www.nctequality.org/
Dedicated to advancing the equality of transgender people.
TRANSGENDER LAW & POLICY INSTITUTE: http://www.transgenderlaw.org/
Works on law and policy initiatives on behalf of transgender people.
SYLVIA RIVERA LAW PROJECT: http://www.srlp.org/
Works to protect the right of gender self-expression.
'I Want to Be Seen as Male'
Transgender Teenager and His Parents Share Their Story With Barbara Walters
By ALAN B. GOLDBERG and JONEIL ADRIANO
April 26, 2007 —
On Sept. 19, 2004, 14-year-old Rebecca gave a startling letter to her mother, Betsy.
"This is one of those stream of consciousness things that I write in the wee hours of the morning when I'm tired and unable to sleep. I was probably crying when I wrote it, but don't think that the tears blurring my eyes were blurring my judgment as well," Rebecca wrote.
"What am I? I ask myself this all the time. Right now what I believe myself to be is an FTM, or a female-to-male transsexual. A boy in a girl's body. What I want is for you to understand, and let me transition into the boy I really am."
The startling admission left Betsy shocked and bewildered.
"It was an out of body experience," she said. (The family's last name is not being used to protect their privacy.)
For Rebecca, the letter was the culmination of years of anguish over feelings that she had been born into the wrong body. She signed it, "Love, your son," -- a reflection of her deeply held conviction that she was a boy. (Click here to read the full letter).
"I can't quite explain it. It was just a feeling of being not quite in my body," Rebecca said. "When I was in kindergarten, I would tell people that when I grew up I wanted to be a boy. I didn't want to be astronaut, or a teacher. I wanted to be a boy."
'It Didn't Really Feel Like My Body'
Rebecca's parents, however, saw no signs that something was amiss with their youngest child. Raising their family in Los Angeles, the couple worked hard to make their two daughters, Rebecca and Anna, feel that they could do everything that boys could do.
So when Rebecca wanted to play with trucks with other boys, Betsy and her husband weren't troubled.
"I think I must honestly say that I was pretty oblivious to that," said Rebecca's father, Peter.
But it was excruciatingly clear to Rebecca -- even more so when she hit puberty. She felt awkward and uncomfortable when her breasts began to grow. Menstruation, which for most girls is a celebrated right of womanhood, served only to further alienate Rebecca from her own body.
"It didn't really feel like my body, or like this was my life-changing moment. It just seemed like this weird thing that was happening."
Confused, Rebecca went looking for answers, and in the seventh grade, she found them on the Internet. She finally had a word to describe what she was: transgender. She even found other children who struggled with the same feelings she did.
Sharing the Secret
Rebecca had found clarity, but she kept the knowledge of what she was hidden for two more years. Finally, when she was 14 years old, Rebecca told her secret to her sister, Anna, via e-mail.
"I wrote back the same day saying, 'You know, I don't get it yet, but I love you with all my heart. You are my favorite person in the world, and absolutely, whatever you need,'" Anna said.
Anna and Rebecca had always been close. With her sister's support, Rebecca wrote her coming-out letter and gave it to her mother. Despite her initial shock, Betsy kept her composure, and even had the wherewithal to ask whether Rebecca had a new name. She was prepared. Rebecca became Jeremy.
"I didn't see her crying the day I came out," Jeremy said. "She held it in, which was kind of what I needed then. I needed to know that she still loved me. And that this wasn't going to bring her to tears."
Jeremy didn't come out to his father right away, fearful of how he would react. But Peter found out anyway just a few weeks later. While working on his computer, he discovered letters Rebecca wrote about wanting to be a boy.
"I think I just kind of withdrew into some silence because I realized that anger wasn't the correct response," Peter said. "I mean, this had to be accepted somehow."
Becoming Jeremy
Jeremy began to transition into a boy almost immediately after coming out to his parents. He got his hair cut short. He asked his parents to stop referring to him as a she. He bought all his clothes, down to the socks and underwear, from the boys' department. He also began to wear a binder, a Lycra vest that painfully flattened his breasts.
Finally, in the ninth grade, Jeremy came out to his school during an assembly in front of teachers and friends. Going to a progressive school, Jeremy was generally accepted by his classmates.
"The boys at my school did a sort of funny, almost initiation, in which they asked me about which girls that we knew in common I thought were really attractive. It was like they were trying to kind of feel me out," Jeremy said. "It was actually kind of amusing."
Although Jeremy's parents allowed him to use a male name and dress like a boy, in the back of their minds, Peter and Betsy still hoped that their daughter Rebecca would eventually return. They put Jeremy in therapy, hoping that their child was just going through an adolescent phase.
"I did go through a period of hoping that it would wash away. Disappear," Peter said.
"What I really wanted was for the therapist to help Jeremy work through any body issues that might be within the scope of, you know, what normal adolescent girls go through," Betsy said.
'I Want to Be Seen as Male'
As the months wore on, however, it became clear that Jeremy was experiencing something far more serious. He wanted to go beyond merely altering his outward appearance, he wanted to physically change his body as well.
Jeremy insisted on taking the male hormone testosterone, but his parents thought he was too young. They weren't ready to let go of Rebecca completely.
"That was probably the darkest of all of the times that we went through. The many, many talks that we had. And he said to me, 'Mom, you still don't see me as male.' He had been binding, and dressing as a boy, and had a boy's haircut for a full year," Betsy said. "I admitted it. It was true."
"That was hard to hear," Jeremy said. "I knew that they saw me as a transgendered child, but not as a male child. And, the thing is, that I don't really want to be seen as trans. I want to be seen as male."
Without the testosterone, Jeremy felt trapped in a life between genders. He became anxious that his body would never be whole.
'Definitely Ready'
Betsy and Peter ultimately chose to let Jeremy fully transition. Last year, Peter took Jeremy, 16, to a doctor for his first shot of testosterone.
"Jeremy was a clear-cut case. He came in completely ready. He was definitely ready," said Jo Olson, Jeremy's doctor.
"When you start giving someone hormones of the opposite gender, they go through a puberty. That's exactly what they go through," said Olson, an adolescent medicine specialist at Children's Hospital Los Angeles. "We are trying to get male patterned hair -- so beard, mustache, a little bit more body hair. We are aiming for a deepening of the voice."
"I'm very grateful to have had that experience, to be just a teenaged boy. And now I'm sort of on the same level as the guys I know who are biologically male," Jeremy said. "I'm not stunted anymore."
Today, Jeremy is a typical high school senior. His name was legally changed after his 16th birthday. He gets good grades at school, is accepted by his peers, passes as a boy and looks forward to college enrolled as a male. And like many young men his age, he worries about dating -- other men.
"I could have been a straight woman. But then I would have been someone's girlfriend. And that's … that's not right. What I want to be is someone's boyfriend. That's what feels right," Jeremy said.
Gender and Sexuality
It's not unusual for transgender people to identify as gay. That's because your gender doesn't really determine your romantic attractions, according to Olson.
"There is a big difference between sexuality, or who you're sexually attracted to, and what gender you identify with," she said.
Although surgery is expensive and not covered by insurance, Jeremy hopes to undergo procedures to remove his breasts before he goes to college. Surgery below the waist -- to create an artificial penis -- is not an option, he says, because the results are often disappointing.
"The surgery for male-to-female transsexuals is a lot better and more realistic than the female-to-male [process]," he said. "It's depressing. Part of me wants to say that it's not fair that I have to stay this way, and that nothing can be done about it. I'm a big believer in the power of medicine to heal. I can't be helped, and that's frustrating."
Whatever decisions Jeremy makes about surgeries, Betsy and Peter say they will stand behind him. They've accepted that their daughter is now their son, even if a small part of them still wonders whether Rebecca might come back.
"There are times when I can still hold that over myself," Betsy said. "And that was the thing that I think kept me from fully accepting Jeremy. But I've learned so much from our child. You can't predict the future. And you can't control it."
Jeremy has no regrets. Asked what he saw when he looked at pictures of Rebecca, Jeremy said, "I just see someone whose eyes aren't really smiling."
"I'm so much happier than I was before I came out and transitioned. The feeling of wrongness is gone," he said. "I feel for the first time in my life as though I am in the right body. I feel like, the world sees me as I see myself."
Friday, April 27, 2007
'I'm a Girl' - Understanding Transgender Children
Parents of Transgender Six-Year-Old Girl Support Her Choice
By ALAN B. GOLDBERG and JONEIL ADRIANO
April 27, 2007 — - From the moment we're born, our gender identity is no secret. We're either a boy or a girl. Gender organizes our world into pink or blue. As we grow up, most of us naturally fit into our gender roles. Girls wear dresses and play with dolls. For boys, it's pants and trucks.
But for some children, what's between their legs doesn't match what's between their ears -- they insist they were born into the wrong body. They are transgender children, diagnosed with gender identity disorder, and their parents insist this is not a phase.
"A phase is called a phase because it is just that. It ends. And this is not ending. This is just getting stronger," Renee Jennings told ABC News' Barbara Walters. The Jennings asked that "20/20" not disclose their real name in order to protect the identity of their six-year old transgender daughter, Jazz.
Watch the story on "My Secret Self: A Story of Transgender Children" tonight on "20/20" at 10 p.m. EDT
Most transgender children still live in the shadows, hiding from a world that sees them as freaks of nature. Rejected by their families, many grow up hating their bodies, and fall victim to high rates of depression, drug abuse, violence and suicide.
Today hundreds of families with transgender children -- who have found each other over the Internet -- are taking a dramatically different course. They're allowing their children to live in the gender they identify with in order to save them from a future of heartache and pain.
"I think we're a very normal family," said Renee's husband, Scott. "I think we have a very healthy marriage. We love to watch our children in all of their activities, whether it's at school, or on the field playing sports."
'You're Special'
On the surface, the Jennings and their four children are a typical American family. But their youngest child, Jazz, is only in kindergarten, and already she is one of the youngest known cases of an early transition from male to female.
"We'll say things like, 'You're special. God made you special.' Because there aren't very many little girls out there that have a penis," said Renee. "Renee and I are in 100 percent agreement as to how we should raise Jazz," said Scott. "We don't encourage, we support. And we just keep listening to what she tells us."
From the moment he could speak, Jazz made it clear he wanted to wear a dress. At only 15 months, he would unsnap his onesies to make it look like a dress. When his parents praised Jazz as a "good boy," he would correct them, saying he was a good girl.
The Jennings wanted to believe it would pass. Scott said he "was in a bit of denial" about what Jazz was trying to tell them. After all, even their rowdy twin boys, who are two years older than Jazz, had painted their nails growing up. But Jazz kept gravitating to girl things, insisting that his penis was a mistake.
When Jazz was two, he asked his mother a question that left her numb and frozen. "[He] said, 'Mommy, when's the good fairy going to come with her magic wand and change, you know, my genitalia?" according to Renee.
Gender Identity Disorder
Troubled by her son's behavior, Renee eventually consulted her copy of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual or DSM-IV, the book used by psychologists and psychiatrists to identify mental disorders. She read the entry for Gender Identity Disorder (GID), with alarming familiarity.
The DSM-IV says a diagnosis for GID can be made if: (1) someone has a strong and persistent cross-gender identification; (2) feels a persistent discomfort with his or her sex; (3) this discomfort is not due to being intersex or hermaphroditic; and (4) the discomfort causes significant distress or impairment in their life.
Even Jazz's pediatrician told the Jennings that they had a serious problem on their hands. She said, 'Yes, I believe your child has gender identity disorder, and I recommend that you go to a professional. And I was -- my mouth opened up and you literally had to scrape me off the floor," Renee said.
Dr. Marilyn Volker, a therapist who specializes in sex and gender issues, later confirmed Jazz's diagnosis.
"When we began to talk, and I used -- whoops -- the pronoun 'he,' I was corrected," Dr. Volker said. Jazz told the therapist, "I'm a girl. I'm she."
Dr. Volker then brought out anatomically correct male and female dolls for Jazz to play with, and asked him to point out which one looked like his body. According to Dr. Volker, Jazz pointed to the male doll said, "This is me now," and then pointed to the female doll and said, "This is what I want."
No Known Cause
No one knows why children like Jazz are transgender, there are only theories. Through the first eight weeks of pregnancy, all fetuses' brains look exactly the same: female, nature's default position.
Only after testosterone surges in the womb do male brains start to develop differently. Some scientists suggest that a hormone imbalance during this stage of development stamped the brains of transgender children with the wrong gender imprint.
With Jazz's diagnosis at hand, the Jennings explained the situation to their other children. In their home, they came to accept Jazz as a girl. There he could a wear a dress or dance as a ballerina, although they still referred to Jazz with male pronouns.
In public they kept Jazz's look more ambiguous or gender neutral, especially at preschool, where he was allowed to put on a pretty top but he had to wear pants. Officially Jazz remained a boy.
Jazz chafed under that arrangement. He wasn't happy until he could present as a girl both indoors and outdoors. Everyday became a struggle, according to Renee. Finally, a dance recital opened the Jennings' eyes to just how unhappy Jazz was.
The Turning Point
"She wasn't allowed to wear a tutu, like the rest of the girls. And she just kind of stood there and snapped her finger and did the tapping thing with the toe, and just looked so sad," Renee recalled. "It was heartbreaking to watch. Really heartbreaking."
The dance recital was a turning point. The Jennings then made the difficult decision to let their son become their daughter. On his fifth birthday, Jazz wore a girl's one piece bathing suit. "He" was now "she," and an innocent pool party became a "coming out" to all of her friends.
"They referred to her as a boy. But kids are very accepting at that age. They believe what you tell them. She is a boy but she wants to be a girl so we let her wear a bathing suit," said Renee.
"That was the first time in front of everybody, she…announced to the world, that she was a girl," Scott added.
Living as a Girl
So how does a five year old biological boy begin living as a girl? For Jazz, it meant growing her hair out, piercing her ears, and wearing dresses everywhere -- even to kindergarten.
At school Jazz is registered as a boy. Her teachers know she's biologically male, but most of her classmates don't. She's lucky because there's a unisex bathroom and in sports, unisex teams. But even play-dates are an issue.
Renee said, "I don't want to send Jazz over to anybody's house unless they know the truth. Nor will I let a child walk into our house, and play with Jazz, unless it's been explained to them."
Jazz's physical safety is always on Scott's mind. He worries about teasing, taunting, or worse. "Every day I'm afraid that I might get a call that something happened. But um, what we've tried to do for Jazz is give her as much self-esteem as we can. We have older brothers, and an older sister, that are always looking out for her. Keeping their eyes on her."
Dresses and Mermaids
After months of careful deliberation, the Jennings agreed to participate in Barbara Walters' special on transgender children, in the hope that doing so would further understanding of Jazz and others like her.
"I don't feel like you can capture the true essence of a child like Jazz until you see her in her environment doing things that she would normally do. It makes it a lot more believable," said Scott.
Jazz's bedroom is filled with things one would find in a typical girl's room: dresses in the closet, pink and purple sheets, and a bed overflowing with stuffed animals. There are also mermaids -- lots and lots of mermaids.
Asked why she liked mermaids so much, Jazz said, "Because they're different than us." She added, "They have tails."
"All of the male to female younger transgender children are obsessed with mermaids," said Renee. "It's because of the ambiguous genitalia. There's nothing below the waist but a tail. And how appealing is that for somebody who doesn't like what's down there?"
Jazz told Walters that she was very happy being a girl, and that she always thought of herself as one. When people ask her whether she's a boy or a girl, Jazz answers without any hesitation: a girl.
Jazz also showed Walters a drawing of a little girl with a tear-streaked face. Jazz drew it when she was in pre-school and still dressing as a boy. Asked by Walters why the little girl was crying, Jazz said, "Because she wants to wear the dress to school."
Now allowed to wear a dress, Renee reports that Jazz enjoys going to school and has lots of friends. If Jazz hadn't been allowed to transition, Renee said, Jazz today would be "very depressed" and "suffering."
The Child That Never Was
For all intents and purposes, Jazz is a girl. But underneath her frilly dresses, she still has the body of a boy, and puberty looms large over the horizon.
"This child will come into my bedroom in the middle of the night, [and say] 'Mommy, mommy, I had a bad dream that I had a beard and moustache like daddy, and I don't ever want to have a beard or a moustache,'" Renee said.
In order to prevent Jazz's nightmare from becoming a reality, the Jennings will probably allow her to undergo hormone therapy when she reaches puberty. First, Jazz's doctor will prescribe blockers that will stop her from growing body hair and developing other masculine characteristics.
A few years after beginning that regimen, Jazz will start taking estrogen, which will allow her body to go through a form of female puberty. She will grow breasts and her body fat will move to her hips. Most doctors will not perform sex reassignment surgery until the age of consent, 18. The Jennings say that if Jazz chooses to also take that step, they will fully support her. But they are also mindful of keeping all of Jazz's options open.
"We check in with her all the time," Renee said. "I tell her, I say, 'Jazz, if you ever feel like you want to dress like a boy again, cut your hair, you just let me know.' And she goes, 'Mommy, why would I want to do that?'" While Jazz's parents now fully accept their son as their daughter, the transition has not been without considerable doubt and stress. Many parents grieve for the child that never was. "I mourn the loss of the idea of my son," Renee said. "I see pictures and the video, and that child's gone. But there's a wonderful person now that's with us."
By any measure, the Jennings home is a happy place. Kids play, kids fight. For now, Jazz lives safely inside a bubble, but the enormity of Jazz's situation is not lost on her parents.
"I always say that I'm in the front line. Jazz is protected, because she's not getting the slack, because I am putting out the fires before they burn her," said Renee. "I want to pave the way for a better life for her, and any trans kids. They didn't ask to be born this way."
USGA Welcomes Trans Golfers
To little fanfare, the United States Golf Association this week adopted a policy to allow post-op transgender male-to-female golfers to participate in women’s tournaments.
Nary a whisper of it hit the airwaves. Not a peep was uttered about it on the Outsports.com discussion board. Even the guys on "Pardon The Interruption" missed it.
Sure, we’re talking about an incredibly miniscule number of people who might be affected. The number of transsexuals is a small fraction of the population; the number of transsexual golfers – well, I surely have more toes on one foot.
But, for heaven’s sake, the USGA is going to welcome transgender players on the women’s tour! This is the same organization that outwardly seems to try to quiet the lesbian talk surrounding its tours and still hasn’t seen a male pro come out. And they’re allowing former men to play on the women’s tour? . . .
Thursday, April 26, 2007
LA Times Sportswriter Will Transition From M to F
FIRST PERSON
Old Mike, new Christine
By Mike PennerTimes Staff Writer
April 26, 2007
During my 23 years with The Times' sports department, I have held a wide variety of roles and titles. Tennis writer. Angels beat reporter. Olympics writer. Essayist. Sports media critic. NFL columnist. Recent keeper of the Morning Briefing flame.
Today I leave for a few weeks' vacation, and when I return, I will come back in yet another incarnation.
As Christine.
I am a transsexual sportswriter. It has taken more than 40 years, a million tears and hundreds of hours of soul-wrenching therapy for me to work up the courage to type those words. I realize many readers and colleagues and friends will be shocked to read them.
That's OK. I understand that I am not the only one in transition as I move from Mike to Christine. Everyone who knows me and my work will be transitioning as well. That will take time. And that's all right. To borrow a piece of well-worn sports parlance, we will take it one day at a time.
Transsexualism is a complicated and widely misunderstood medical condition. It is a natural occurrence — unusual, no question, but natural.
Recent studies have shown that such physiological factors as genetics and hormonal fluctuations during pregnancy can significantly affect how our brains are "wired" at birth.
As extensive therapy and testing have confirmed, my brain was wired female.
A transgender friend provided the best and simplest explanation I have heard: We are born with this, we fight it as long as we can, and in the end it wins.
I gave it as good a fight as I possibly could. I went more than 40 hard rounds with it. Eventually, though, you realize you are only fighting yourself and your happiness and your mental health — a no-win situation any way you look at it.
When you reach the point when one gender causes heartache and unbearable discomfort, and the other brings more joy and fulfillment than you ever imagined possible, it shouldn't take two tons of bricks to fall in order to know what to do.
It didn't with me.
With me, all it took was 1.99 tons.
For more years than I care to count, I was scared to death over the prospect of writing a story such as this one. It was the most frightening of all the towering mountains of fear I somehow had to confront and struggle to scale.
How do you go about sharing your most important truth, one you spent a lifetime trying to keep deeply buried, to a world that has grown familiar and comfortable with your façade?
To a world whose knowledge of transsexuals usually begins and ends with Jerry Springer's exploitation circus?
Painfully and reluctantly, I began the coming-out process a few months ago. To my everlasting amazement, friends and colleagues almost universally have been supportive and encouraging, often breaking the tension with good-natured doses of humor.
When I told my boss Randy Harvey, he leaned back in his chair, looked through his office window to scan the newsroom and mused, "Well, no one can ever say we don't have diversity on this staff."
When I told Robert, the soccer-loving lad from Wales who cuts my hair, why I wanted to start growing my hair out, he had to take a seat, blink hard a few times and ask, "Does this mean you don't like football anymore, Mike?"
No, I had to assure him, I still love soccer. I will continue to watch it. I hope to continue to coach it.
My days of playing in men's over-30 rec leagues, however, could be numbered.
When I told Eric, who has played sweeper behind my plodding stopper for more than a decade, he brightly suggested, "Well, you're still good for co-ed!"
I broke the news to Tim by beginning, "Are you familiar with the movie 'Transamerica'?" Tim nodded. "Well, welcome to my life," I said.
Tim seemed more perplexed than most as I nervously launched into my story.
Finally, he had to explain, "I thought you said 'Trainspotting.' I thought you were going to tell me you're a heroin addict."
People have asked if transitioning will affect my writing. And if so, how?
All I can say at this point is that I am now happier, more focused and more energized when I sit behind a keyboard. The wicked writer's block that used to reach up and torture me at some of the worst possible times imaginable has disappeared.
My therapist says this is what happens when a transsexual finally "integrates" and the ever-present white noise in the background dissipates.
That should come as good news to my editors: far fewer blown deadlines.
So now we all will take a short break between bylines. "Mike Penner" is out, "Christine Daniels" soon will be taking its place.
From here, it feels like a big improvement. I hope with time you will agree.
This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
W. Palm backs protection for transgender employees
Palm Beach Post Staff Writer
Thursday, April 26, 2007
WEST PALM BEACH — If an ordinance being considered by city commissioners becomes law, a top administrator or any other employee's job would be protected if the worker came to work yesterday as a man but arrived today as a woman.
The ordinance, given initial approval unanimously this week, prohibits discrimination on the basis of "gender identity or expression."
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Commissioners are scheduled to consider it again on May 7. If approved then, it will become law.
The ordinance, considered at the request of the Palm Beach County Human Rights Council, comes in reaction to the firing of Largo City Manager Steve Stanton in Pinellas County. The firing came after it was disclosed that Stanton was preparing for a sex-change operation, after which his name will be Susan.
In 2003, Largo city commissioners rejected a law similar to the one being considered by West Palm Beach.
"Gender identity or expression" is defined in the West Palm Beach ordinance as "a person's individual attributes, actual or perceived" or "a person's self-identity, self-image, appearance or expression as a man or woman, whether or not different from those traditionally associated with the person's sex at birth."
The law protects not only those who might have a full sex change, but those who cross-dress or otherwise buck traditional gender roles, Assistant City Attorney Nancy Urchek said.
Rand Hoch, the president and founder of the Human Rights Council, praised West Palm Beach for consideration of the ordinance.
"West Palm Beach has always been on the forefront," he said. In 1991, the city became the first in Florida to prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation in public employment. The next year, it became the first to extend domestic partnership benefits to city employees.
Mayor Lois Frankel, who helped get the ordinance on the agenda, said it would help the city avoid potential "legal challenges and problems" by spelling out a policy now.
"The community is very diverse in many ways in being accepting of various lifestyles," she said.
Hoch said he hopes the law results in education on transgender issues and hopes the county will eventually approve such an ordinance.
"What should have happened in Largo is Steve Stanton should have had the opportunity to work with city staff and express to people what was going on and help them understand the transition," Hoch said.
City commissioners appear poised to put the law on the books.
"It's something that may or may never occur, but in the city, we have always prided ourselves in being a leader in anti-discrimination," Commissioner Bill Moss said.
Commissioner Kimberly Mitchell voted for the law but said she'd like to discuss a law that says "we are a city that just doesn't discriminate, period."
"Every time we add somebody to the list, what it says to me is, who are we leaving off the list?" she said.
Assistant City Attorney Josh Koehler said naming groups is crucial to protecting them legally.
"Specificity is always the key if you're going to create a cause of action of a basis for a complaint."
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Born With the Wrong Body
Transgender 10-Year-Old Girl and Her Family Talk to Barbara Walters
By ALAN B. GOLDBERG
April 25, 2007— - This past Christmas, Riley Grant received a present that can be described as bittersweet -- a video game that allowed her to morph a digital body into anything she wanted. Almost immediately, Riley, a 10-year-old transgender girl who is biologically a boy, adopted a virtual female persona. If only life were so easy, that she could punch a button and turn into a girl.
"She has a birth defect, and we call it that. I can't think of a worse birth defect, as a woman to have, than to have a penis," Riley's mother, Stephanie, told Barbara Walters. "She talks about the day she'll have a baby. That's not in her future. But she sees herself as growing up to be a woman."
Watch "My Secret Self: A Story of Transgender Children" this Friday on "20/20" at 10 p.m. EDT
Ten years ago, the struggle the couple faced was simply to have a child. It took Stephanie and her husband, Neil, eleven attempts at invitro fertilization and five miscarriages before Stephanie finally gave birth to fraternal twins -- a girl, Allie, and a boy, Richard. ("Grant" is an alias being used to protect the family's privacy).
From the beginning, the Grants knew that the twins were different. While Allie was outgoing and friendly, Richard was clingy, quiet and passive. His mother knew that he wouldn't become a macho little boy.
'I'm A Girl'
Richard refused to swim topless, always wearing a shirt in the pool. By age two, he became clearly jealous of his sister's "girl" things -- her toys, her pink drinking cups, and especially her clothing.
"We were getting dressed, and he wanted to wear a dress. He wanted to be pretty like his sister," said Stephanie. "He was saying, 'I want a dress. I'm a girl, Mommy, I'm a girl.' And I'd say, 'No, honey, you're a boy. You have a penis, you're a boy. Allie's a girl.'"
Then, when the twins were only two and a half, an incident after a bath convinced the Grants just how seriously confused their son was about his gender identity. Stephanie found Richard holding a nail clipper against his penis, saying that "it doesn't go there."
Richard's pediatrician told the Grants that they needed to teach their son how to be a boy. So the Grants encouraged Richard to play with boy's toys and do boy's activities, but to no avail. Richard even refused to attend his own birthday parties knowing he would only get boy presents. The worst time was Christmas.
"It got more exasperating for him when he looked over and saw his sister's things, the things that he wanted," said Neil Grant.
'We Knew We Had to Hide It'
Finally, when Richard was just three years old, Stephanie made the drastic decision to let her son start dressing as a girl. They called it "girl time." Richard could dress up in his sister's clothes but only when his father Neal was out of sight. The secret between mother and son went on for months.
"I took him shopping by himself and we bought his own skirt and his own little tank top because…that little girl trapped inside was so happy when this would happen. But we knew we had to hide it, and we hid them in the back of the closet," she said.
When Neal finally found out that his wife was allowing their son to dress as a girl, he became upset. "I said, 'I didn't believe in it, and I didn't know where this was going to lead to.'"
Richard's double life put a strain on the Grant's marriage, and they almost separated. Richard, now four, was going to school as a boy but wanted to be a girl full time. Stephanie knew about Richard's heart-wrenching prayers in the middle of the night.
"He said, 'Mom, I'm so mad at God, because God made a mistake. He made me a boy, and I'm not a boy, I'm a girl, Mom. Every night I pray that God gives me a girl body but when I wake up I'm still a boy. God won't take back his mistake, he won't make it right,'" Stephanie recalled.
Gender Identity Disorder
At one point, Richard became so despondent that his parent's feared he may try and harm himself. Richard began talking about jumping out of windows, prompting the Grants to constantly lock their windows shut.
Richard also began to have regular breakdowns. After one particularly severe panic attack, in March 2003, Richard's face turned blue and he had to be hospitalized. Feeling helpless, Stephanie spilled all of her secrets to Richard's principal.
The response took Stephanie by surprise: Why couldn't Richard come to school in a dress, the principal asked. Then the school directed the Grants to a gender specialist who diagnosed Richard with Gender Identity Disorder.
For Stephanie, the diagnosis came as a relief. "Oh my God, we're not making this up. This is real. There's a diagnosis," she said.
Becoming Riley
So Richard, only seven years old, began to transition from a boy to a girl. He -- now she -- pierced her ears, grew her hair out, wore girls' clothing and took the name "Reggie." Her father, Neil, who once rejected her, took her shopping for dresses. He finally understood after seeing the look on his daughter's face.
Reggie eventually changed her name legally to Riley. But when she showed up at school in the third grade wearing a dress, her life became increasingly difficult. She was only allowed to use the bathroom in the nurse's office, and the bullies had a field day.
"It became a nightmare. It was horrible. She was known as the girl with a dick," said Stephanie. Riley came to believe that the only kids who liked her were the ones who didn't know that she used to be a boy.
Riley told Barbara Walters that the constant teasing makes her angry. "Some people call me a boy. But I just tell them to shut up," Riley said.
Riley also has a tough time being around her twin sister Allie, and the two fight often. Stephanie explained, "Her sister has always been right. Her twin was born with the right body. Her twin is going to get the breasts. She has to hate her sister in order to survive." Neal added, "Her twin sister is everything she wants to be."
Approaching Adolescence
But the most difficult time for Riley, Stephanie says, is when she's alone with her body. Stephanie recalled how once, when Riley was still Richard, she peeked into the shower and saw him washing his hair with one hand while keeping a washcloth over his genitals with another.
Stephanie said, "He was hiding from himself. He didn't want to see his own body."
Now on the cusp of adolescence, Riley's anxieties over her body will only surely grow. According to Dr. Norman Spack, an endocrinologist at Harvard University, puberty is especially frightening for transgender children.
"They feel like their body has gone completely out of control, and I've heard genetic males, who assume a female identity, say please, please, please don't let me grow a beard, like daddy, or a voice like my big brother," Spack said. "They know which physical attributes are going to be absolutely threatening to their entire future ability to blend in."
Of female to male transgenders, Spack said, "The thought of developing breasts is bad enough, but the thought of developing monthly periods is enough to make some of them cut themselves every time they have one."
Early Intervention
Doctors are divided over the best way to treat transgender children. Some believe that puberty, despite the extreme distress that accompanies it, is crucial for a child's development and should be allowed to take its natural course.
But a growing number of specialists, including Dr. Spack, believe that early intervention is a better option, and the Grants say that Riley can't wait to undergo this protocol. First, at the onset of puberty, hormone blockers are prescribed to stop the surge of hormones coursing through an adolescent's body.
"It basically puts you at a kind of pre-pubertal state, or in limbo, so to speak. Still growing, but not really maturing in either direction," said Spack, founder of the Gender Management Service Clinic at Children's Hospital of Boston.
A few years later, cross-hormones are taken. For biological males, this means taking estrogen; for biological females, testosterone. These cross-hormones simulate the puberty of the opposite sex. In Riley's case, for example, estrogen will cause her to grow breasts and develop a feminine body shape.
But hormone therapy is expensive and comes with risks. Riley increases her chances of getting breast cancer because of the estrogen. And cross hormones render transgender teenagers sterile.
The Future
Then there is the question of if and when to have sex reassignment surgery. "Riley would have it done tomorrow," Stephanie said.
For the Grants, the future is full of questions, while the past seems like a fleeting memory. It's rare that Stephanie allows herself to look at pictures of Riley as a boy. Normally, they are all hidden. She only looks at them when her trans-daughter is not around. If Riley found them, she would destroy them.
Still, the Grants hope that by going public with their private pain, they will help others to comprehend what Riley and other children like her have been through. "I want Riley to have a good life, and for more people to understand the way she is," said Neil Grant.
Stephanie added, "We have to support her, but we don't walk in her shoes. And people who look at her and know her will, I hope, realize what it takes for her to be her every single day."
ABC News' Joneil Adriano and Jennifer Joseph contributed to this report.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Human Rights Campaign: Coming Out as Transgender
Download a copy of Coming Out as Transgender [PDF* 3KB]
Sunday, April 22, 2007
ABC's 20-20, this Friday - children who want to be the opposite sex
SF Bay Area: Comcast channel 7.
Check your local listing.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Giuliani's Cross-Dressing Antics Debated
Saturday 04.14.07
NEW YORK—It is difficult to shock New Yorkers, yet Rudy Giuliani teetered close to the line when he sauntered onto a stage wearing a platinum-blond wig, a face full of makeup, dainty white gloves and a frilly pink gown filled out in all the right places.
His appearance at an annual political roast was exactly 10 years ago, and at the time, the idea of the tough-talking mayor in a busty ball gown raised eyebrows but was mostly accepted as a good joke _ adhering to an unwritten rule for the shenanigans that take place at the roast, known as the Inner Circle dinner.
Shortly after winning re-election that year, Giuliani took his feminine side to a national audience. While hosting “Saturday Night Live,” he appeared in one skit as a bosomy, gray-haired Italian grandmother in lipstick and a flowered housedress, with stockings pulled halfway up his calves.
Now that Giuliani is running for the Republican presidential nomination, experts and political observers are wondering whether those well-photographed and widely documented performances _ and others _ could damage his campaign. Some say conservatives won’t get the joke and will be turned off by what they see as yet another peek at Giuliani’s exotic, big-city liberal side.
Political observers say many voters associate a macho demeanor with Giuliani’s post-Sept. 11 image as a strong national leader in a time of crisis _ an image that could lose its power if dressed in stockings and dancing the cancan.
Yes, there was another year when he wore fishnets and did high kicks with the Rockettes.
“People think of him as a leader and a tough guy, and he has this image as somebody who tamed the city of New York and made the trains run on time, and seeing him dressed up like a girl would run contrary to all of those things,” said political science professor Neal Thigpen of Francis Marion University in South Carolina.
South Carolina has one of the nation’s earliest presidential primaries next year, and as the first Southern contest, it could set the stage for the region.
With conservative voters largely dominating presidential primaries, some experts say the footage of Giuliani cavorting about in women’s wear could significantly damage his chances there and throughout the South. The images are already showing up on the Internet, including a mock campaign commercial on the popular video-trading site YouTube.
“You get out in more sophisticated places of the country, where they know Giuliani and they like him and they know about some of his antics, it’s not going to be any surprise, but down here where they’ve never seen that kind of thing, it could do him some damage,” Thigpen said.
But others say the gender-bending gags won’t matter.
In Nevada, another state with an early caucus, Republicans would be unfazed by the image of Giuliani in women’s clothing, said Heidi Smith, chairwoman of the Republican Party in Washoe County.
Giuliani impressed Reno citizens in a campaign appearance there last month that included a trip to Costco during which he mingled with shoppers, posing for photographs and signing autographs.
“That meant more than seeing him in drag,” Smith said. “If he wants to wear a dress, who cares?”
Giuliani’s first drag appearance, in 1997, featured a breathy Marilyn Monroe impression that was followed by various other female alter-egos over the years, including one that shared a scene with Donald Trump, who groped Giuliani and buried his head between the mayoral breasts.
His other Inner Circle characters included a 1950s greaser on a motorcycle, the Lion King and the Beauty’s beast.
His most famous appearance from 10 years ago is likely to be remembered this weekend when Mayor Michael Bloomberg gets into costume to dance and sing for the same charity event, as New York mayors have done for decades. David Dinkins once donned full cowboy regalia and entered the ballroom on a horse; Ed Koch wore a suit of glittering gold; and Bloomberg has ridden a mule and pretended to smoke pot.
In 1997, the New York media had fun for a few days with Giuliani’s first cross-dressing experiment _ the Village Voice printed a favorable review by real drag queens _ but it didn’t appear to hurt him politically.
A poll shortly afterward found his approval rating at an all-time high of 67 percent, and a majority of city voters said they enjoyed the gag. He won re-election later that year.
Perhaps New Yorkers, who are overwhelmingly Democrats by a margin of five to one, appreciated one particular line during the 1997 show, which was a spoof of the musical comedy “Victor/Victoria,” in which a woman pretends to be a man pretending to be a woman.
“I already play a Republican playing a Democrat playing a Republican,” Giuliani quipped.
For conservatives who already are leery of backing Giuliani because of his support for abortion rights and other positions on social issues, the feminine clothing may also remind them of his support of gays while mayor _ despite the fact that the majority of cross-dressers are not gay.
Still, a poison-pen mailer or e-mail could easily imply a connection, observers say.
“I’m imagining the negative ads _ they could use this as sort of an oblique reference to all of those positions,” said Clemson University political scientist Dave Woodard.
Southern Baptist Convention official Richard Land said gay issues represent just one area of the problems religious conservatives have with Giuliani.
“There are so many dealbreakers for Giuliani, it’s difficult to know where to start,” he said.
Throughout his eight years in City Hall, Giuliani supported laws that protected gays against harassment, marched in gay pride parades, welcomed the Olympic-style Gay Games to New York City and, after his second marriage broke up, lived with two friends who happened to be a gay couple.
He does not support gay marriage, but he does not see the need to ban it with a constitutional amendment. And in a 1994 cover story with The Advocate, a national gay magazine, he condemned Pat Buchanan’s speech at the Republican National Convention two years earlier during which the failed presidential candidate declared a “cultural war” against homosexuality, radical feminists, abortion rights supporters and other “liberals.”
The speech, Giuliani said, “tried to narrow rather than to broaden the Republican Party. There is no reason why the party shouldn’t appeal to gays and lesbians in the same way it does to all Americans.”
Over the years, Giuliani’s relationship with gays has not been exactly cozy _ he was often heckled while marching in the city’s annual gay pride parade.
Asked this month about his theatrical past, Giuliani told Fox News that it shows voters another side of him.
“I think what they’ll find out about me is I enjoy having fun. I mean, I really enjoy those Inner Circles. I made them fun, and I enjoyed them,” he said. “And so you’re going to get a couple of things people can interpret different ways, I guess.”
Transgender softball player a conundrum for recreation district
| By JENN KLEIN - Staff Writer Chico Enterprise-Record |
| An avid athlete and a transgender person, Tedra Thomsen wants to play coed softball -- as a woman. But the softball league she plays on won't allow that. "This snubs me basically," said Thomsen, who explained while the sex she was born with is anatomically male, the gender she identifies herself with is female. Next week the league's recreation district will consider a policy on transsexual athletes -- a first for the Chico Area Recreation and Park District -- because of Thomsen's concerns. But as proposed, the policy won't allow Thomsen to sign up as a female -- although she could dress and act as a woman -- until she has gone through sex reassignment surgery and hormone therapy. CARD legal representative Jennifer Wendell, an attorney with the Carter Law Office, said the recreation district is trying to accommodate Thomsen and wants to foster a sense of inclusiveness. But she said CARD has to balance that with consideration for competitive fair play and the safety of other players on the field. "We're really most concerned about safety," CARD General Manager Steve Visconti said. "That is our No. 1 issue." Thomsen, 38, has played on a CARD all-male softball team for the last six years, when he went by Ted Thomsen. But after Ted Thomsen got divorced from his wife six months ago, Thomsen began living full time as a woman. She wants to carry that over into the sport she plays but said she's heard that both her coach and her friends on the team would ask her to leave if she came dressed as a woman because they feel it would be distracting. Thomsen said her 6-foot, 4-inch height and prominent jaw make it apparent that her sex is male, although her gender is not. . . . |
Sunday, April 15, 2007
With change, acceptance is key . . .
Two brothers share how they coped with their dad's decision to become a woman.
By LANE DEGREGORY
Published April 15, 2007
You're 13 years old, and you love your dad. You love fishing with him, scuba diving with him, riding in his Jeep.
Sure, sometimes your dad gets annoying, and distant. So do you.
You're 13. Almost a man. Like your dad.
One day after school, he drags you away from your computer game and says he has something to tell you.
He looks you in the eye and says: "I want to be a woman."
Largo City Manager Steve Stanton told the whole world about those plans in February and ended up losing his job. During the hearings about his fate at City Hall, many people expressed concern for his son, Travis.
What would this be like for Travis, especially at the tricky age of 13?
Travis' parents have kept him out of the spotlight, so nobody knows what he is going through.
Except maybe two young men who went through a similar situation when they were about the same age.
* * *
Jonathan and David Beyer are brothers, three years apart. Jonathan was 13 and David 16 when their dad told them he was about to become a woman.
Like Stanton, Wayne Beyer had spent years suppressing what he considered his true self. He wasn't desperate enough to change his gender until he'd divorced his sons' mom, remarried, and turned 50.
He wanted to wait until David finished high school. He couldn't. At graduation, he said, his son would either have a dead dad or a new mom.
Wayne was an ophthalmologist then, living in Maryland. Jonathan had just moved in with him and his second wife. David was in boarding school at Andover.
So Wayne told his boys separately. Their responses surprised him.
Jonathan is 19 now, working toward a degree in fire protection engineering at the University of Maryland. David is 22, studying premed at Brown University. They both spend holidays at home with Dana, who used to be their dad.
They agreed to share their stories to help Travis, other kids of transgender people, and anyone else who wonders what it's like to have a dad who becomes a woman.
Jonathan's story
At some point when I was little, my dad had told me that he liked girl stuff. So when I was 4, I remember looking in a store window and telling my dad, "That's a pretty dress. I'm going to buy you that for your birthday." I didn't know anything was wrong with that.
When I was 12, my friend's mother had a best friend who was transgender. So I knew what that was. I mean, I'd met someone who was. But I never knew that's what my dad was. Until he told me.
We sat at the kitchen table, just me and my dad, and he told me what was going on. I was sort of into medical stuff at the time, so I wanted to know the process. How do you do that, make a man into a woman?
Here, Jonathan switched to the female pronoun to describe his dad, who became Dana. She didn't tell me not to tell anyone. She spoke with my best friend's mom. I never really went to therapy or support groups about it. I told a few of my close friends, ones I knew would be okay with it. A few select teachers knew.
The first time I went out with Dana, it was to temple, a synagogue service. No one even seemed to notice. To most people, she passes.
I still go home most weekends to stay with Dana. I call her Mom sometimes. She makes me dinner, helps me with my organic chemistry homework. We ran the Marine Corps Marathon. She's happier now, that's the biggest change.
I've never really talked to other kids of transgender people. But if Travis wanted to talk, I'd be glad to. He needs to understand that his dad isn't really his dad. His dad has always been his mom, with a different facade.
I'd tell him to imagine an egg. You have this outside shell, the hard part, the part you crack and throw away. But the inside part is who we are. People's shells and yolks don't always match. What's inside is what's important.
I'd tell him not to worry about what to tell his friends. If people have a problem with it, they weren't his real friends. And he doesn't have to worry it'll happen to him. If he was transgender, he'd already know it. He shouldn't be afraid.
Travis will get through fine. He'll just have to adjust to the change in what his dad looks like in the next family photo.
Of course, my brother had a much harder time with it.
David's story
I sort of knew there was something different about my dad at age 8 or 9. I don't know what it was. Nothing to do with gender or sexuality. I was told something was different, too. But I never understood what was going on.
In the beginning of my senior year in high school, he told me. I was away at school. I heard it on the phone. I was shocked. It certainly wasn't something I wanted to happen.
All my friends knew within a week of me knowing. I was matter-of-fact about it. People were like, "Oh. Wow. Okay." Every family has their thing. It's just another thing in another family.
I never talked to a counselor or teacher about it. I was mostly distant from the whole process, so it was sort of abstract. In a way, my brother had an advantage because he got to live with it incrementally. I just got the full, final effect.
The first time I saw Dana was at my high school graduation. It was pretty difficult. (He paused.) It was difficult. That's all I'll say about that.
But I got through it. Then I went and packed my stuff, and we drove home.
Within a week, it got easier. It was just the shock of the initial change. Once I got over that, the only permanent difference I noticed in my life was that Dana seemed happier.
If there were faults about how it was handled, it would have been me coming to terms with it better and more quickly. It was very difficult for a while.
Travis is going to go through a really rough time. But unless he wants to run away from it, he has to accept it, talk it through with his parents. That's what helped me just . . . come to terms with it.
What else can you do?
Lane DeGregory can be reached at (727) 893-8825 or degregory@sptimes.com.ON THE WEBThe Stanton storyTo read the St. Petersburg Times' coverage of Steve Stanton, please click on links.tampabay.com.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Fired transsexual city manager on Larry King tonight
As a past supporter of Largo City Manager Steve Stanton, we thought you would be interested to know that he will appear on Larry King tonight with his legal counsel, National Center for Lesbian Rights' Karen Doering. The live interview will air on CNN tonight at 9pm EST/6pm PST.
"Larry King Live" is a live show with audience call-ins. We join the National Center for Lesbian Rights in encouraging you to call-in or write-in during the show and stand up for sexual literacy in the United States.
Also, we've posted an open thread on the American Sexuality blog to discuss the show before, during, and after the airing. Click here to join the conversation!
On March 23, the Largo, FL City Commission voted 5-2 to terminate Stanton after learning that he is transsexual. Stanton served as the Largo City Manager for 14 years, and has consistently received excellent reviews. We invite you to join us in watching the show and supporting Steve, and to discuss the interview on the American Sexuality Blog.
Sincerely,
The team at NSRC
P.S. If you're wondering why we're using male pronouns while Stanton is in the midst of a Male-to-Female transition, please check out our blog post here.
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LET THEM BE
What's the proper parental response when faced with a kid who's gender variant?
Sunday, April 8, 2007
In the gymnastics studio lobby, my 4-year-old son stood staring mournfully at the rack of hot pink velvet leotards. "I'll never wear one of those," Sam whispered. Reluctantly, I asked, "Do you want to?" He answered, slowly and sadly, "Yes. Yes, I do."
I'd said no before, to pink dresses and sparkly lip balm. It would be so easy to say it now: "No, that's for girls. Look at what the other boys are wearing."
Other pink boys
Sam is the only boy in his gymnastics class who asks for a leotard, the only boy in his preschool who likes nail polish. It's tough on Sam, because kids make fun of him. And it's tough on me and my husband, because people question our parental judgment. Worse, we fear for Sam's safety.
While looking for a ballet class where Sam could wear his tutu, I met another mom of a boy like Sam. She told me about a group of parents of pink boys and tomboys who e-mail every day on an electronic listserv hosted by the Outreach Program for Children with Gender-Variant Behaviors and Their Families, a program of Children's National Medical Center in Washington, D.C.
The program, started by child psychiatrist Edgardo Menvielle and psychotherapist Catherine Tuerk, is the first of its kind. Tuerk's own gender-variant son was born in 1968, and she and her husband spent many painful years discouraging his desire for Barbie dolls and dresses.
More than 200 families communicate via the listserv. The program also connects parents with face-to-face groups across North America and publishes a parent guide. Their message is twofold: accept your child, and teach him or her to survive in a hostile world.
Not an easy road
On the listserv, I met the Iorillo family from Boston. "There was always something different about Tony," Gloria Iorillo tells me about one of her 9-year-old fraternal twin sons. At 2, Tony twirled around the living room pretending to wear a dress, and turned Gloria's curtains into "long hair." Tony preferred his sister's girlie toys to his twin brother's trucks.
Gloria and her husband were raised in traditional, Catholic homes, and were unnerved by these persistent behaviors. "I steered him firmly toward more typical boy things. I thought I was teaching him ... appropriate behavior."
But Tony became defiant and difficult, and the feminine behaviors escalated. He started kindergarten with a pink lunchbox and a girlie T-shirt; he was Tinker Bell for Halloween. At Christmas, Tony asked Santa to make him a girl. Gloria wondered, "Why don't I have to teach my other son [how to be a boy], and I have to teach Tony?"
One day, Tony tried on his sister's dress-up clothes. "I ... freaked out," recalls Gloria. "I said 'No! You can't put that on.' He started to cry, and asked, 'Why?' I said, 'Because you have a penis, and you're a boy.' And he said, 'But I love these clothes, Mommy. I want to be a girl.' "
What does it mean?
Parents of gender-variant kids are often asked -- by family, friends and strangers -- if their children are gay or transgender. It's an impossible question to answer.
While the correlations between biological sex, gender identity and sexual orientation have not been extensively studied, experts rely on the research of psychiatrist Richard Green from the 1960s and '70s. Over a 15-year period, Green studied two groups of boys: one gender-variant and one typically masculine. He published his findings in the 1987 book, "The 'Sissy Boy Syndrome' and the Development of Homosexuality." The first group, 66 boys in all, preferred girls' clothes and toys, gentle play with girls and identifying as female characters in imaginative play. The second group, of 56 boys, preferred boys' clothes and toys, rough-and-tumble play with boys and male characters.
Three-quarters of the "feminine" group that was followed to young adulthood was gay or bisexual; one was transgender. All but one of the masculine group was straight. Green's study, while flawed and dated, says this: Gender-variant boys are likely, but not overwhelmingly, to be gay; they rarely grow up to be transgender.
The truth is, no one can tell by looking at the clothing or hairstyle of a child how the distinct elements of their gender, identity and sexuality will come together. "This is something nobody can predict," Menvielle says. "We have to be open to changes -- or no changes -- in the variety of ways the life of a child may unfold."
Whose fault is it?
When a pair of twins, raised in the same environment, come out so differently, it's hard to imagine that the child's parents could have influenced their gender behaviors. Yet this is something that many parents worry about.
Computer professional George Bley of Brooklyn, describes himself and his wife as "normal, heterosexual, boring-type people." Their 8-year-old son Max has long hair and presents like a girl. At 5, Max cried himself to sleep at night, wailing, "Why didn't Mommy make me a girl?" George fears that he somehow caused Max's gender variance by not conforming to stereotypes himself. "Maybe if I liked sports more, or if [my wife] was home cooking more, or if I was a lumberjack ..."
Many parents share similar fears. Mothers who used fertility drugs or egg donors worry about pre-conception hormones; one mom imagines an illness during pregnancy must be the cause; one father thinks it was because he had wanted a baby girl. While such questions weigh heavily on parents' minds, there is no evidence that parents or the environment have anything to do with a child's fundamental gender identity.
Dr. Herb Schreier, child psychiatrist at Children's Hospital & Research Center Oakland, has been working with gender-variant children for 20 years. "One look at the families (of gender-variant children) and you see these behaviors are not coming from Mom and Dad. This is simply a natural variation."
Can we, should we, 'fix' them?
Parents on the listserv frequently report hearing the admonishment "Stop encouraging him." It sometimes appears to outsiders that all that is needed to make a child conform to traditional gender norms is some discouragement. This idea is linked to the notion that these children will be gay adults and that changing their gender expression in childhood will prevent that outcome. But there is no indication that such an approach works -- and there is plenty of evidence that it is harmful.
The American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality as a mental illness from their Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM, in 1973. In a peculiar twist, a diagnosis of childhood mental illness called gender identity disorder (GID) was added to the DSM that same year. A child is considered to have this disorder if he or she wants to wear the clothes of, participate in the games of, form friendships with and in some cases be, the opposite gender. When I first read the entry, I thought: That's Sam.
The Green study indicates that GID is often a precursor to adult homosexuality. While the APA continues to assert that homosexuality is not pathological, the inclusion of GID in the DSM implies that "pre-homosexuality" in children is. But, as with adults, scientific evidence of efficacy of "treatment" is lacking, and evidence of harm has been proven.
When parents seek mental health consultations for their child's gender-variant behaviors, they are often told, Menvielle says, to restrict "gender inappropriate" activities: "Throw away his Barbies; make her wear a dress." But children do poorly with that approach. "What typically happens is kids get very upset, very secretive," he says. Changing their deepest desires "is not something that works. We never see that. We see kids who are depressed, or very angry, or shut themselves in their room and play secretly, or have suicidal thoughts."
The Family Acceptance Project, conducted by Dr. Caitlin Ryan at San Francisco State University, examines how family attitudes affect the health, mental health and well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender young people. The study (publication forthcoming) shows that LGBT young adults who experienced high levels of parental pressure regarding gender conformity report significantly higher levels of depression, illegal drug use, suicide attempts and unsafe sex than their peers who report little or no pressure.
"Parents want the best for their children," says Ryan. Those who try to suppress gender-variant behaviors "may think they're helping their child survive, but really they're forcing them to devalue a core part of who they are -- which will ultimately hurt them, and increase their risk."
Mainstream medicine now understands that homosexuality is a normal variation of human sexuality. So why is GID still considered a disorder? The diagnosis states, "The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning." In other words, it's tough to be different. Bley, who believes there is nothing wrong with his son, Max, jokes darkly, "We could call it persecuted minority syndrome: people need therapy because the rest of us are mean to them."
Let pink be
Most people don't like being different in ways they haven't chosen; parents understand that the life of a gender-variant child may not be as easy as a conventional life. But given that being gay -- only one of several potential outcomes for pink boys -- is a natural variation of human sexuality that cannot be "cured," what are we afraid will happen if we let a little boy wear the proverbial pink leotard?
Many parents, despite initial reactions of surprise or distress, have found that affirming and supporting their gender-variant child leads to positive outcomes. When Gloria's son Tony told her that he wanted to be a girl, "I flipped," she remembers. After learning about gender variance, Gloria decided to allow Tony to wear what he wanted at home, and bought him his own girl toys. She told him, " 'I didn't know that little boys would like this so much. I understand that now.' And he just gave me the biggest grin, and hugged me and immediately went and grabbed his sister's dress, and didn't take it off the whole day."
Gloria's husband, Emile, "was very reluctant at the beginning." One night, "I told Emile that if we don't support Tony, we're going to lose him. There's an elevated risk of suicide and depression. We can't let that happen."
The next morning, Tony sat drawing at the kitchen table on paper he'd divided in two. On one side, he drew himself as a girl alongside his sister, his mother and a happy, shining sun. On the other side, he drew his father, his brother and dark rain clouds. Emile got it.
When his father began to accept him, the change in Tony was significant. After behavior issues and extreme jealousy of his sister, Gloria reports, "he became very loving toward his sister. ... They started to play together all the time ... giggling with delight. It was music to my ears! He calmed down, he was at peace with himself and the world."
Parenting a gender-variant child is challenging, Gloria says, not because there's anything wrong with the child "but because of how they are perceived, and how our parenting skills are perceived, and how our morality is perceived." But, she says of Tony, "We are blessed to have him. He has changed our lives. He has opened our eyes."
From her new vantage point, Gloria believes that gender-variant children need extra support because of the challenges they will face. "If we don't make them strong, they are going to fail. And the only way to make them strong is to make them feel proud of who they are. There is no other way."
Back at the gym
The longing in Sam's face that afternoon was so intense, the certainty that he could not wear that pink leotard so embedded in his features, that I decided to say it: Yes. One brief word, and that boy lit up in a way I rarely see.
Once he'd wriggled into the leotard, a little girl looked at him and said in a superior, I'm-a-teenager-in-a-5-year-old's-body tone, "He's going to wear that?" I said, cheerfully, "Yes, he is!" She looked down her nose and said "Weird!"
Sam seemed unfazed by the girl's intolerance, and did well that day in his leotard. He does well most days in his leotard. It's still not easy, for Sam or for us, but it's worth it to let him be who he so clearly is.
And it turns out, Sam looks gorgeous in a leotard. Hot pink is really his color.
Names, places and other identifying details in this article (including the writer's name) have been changed to protect the identities and safety of the children and their families.
What is gender variance?
According to the Children's National Medical Center, gender-variant behaviors refer to strong and persistent gender-typed actions and interests typical of the other sex. It may be expressed in behaviors such as choices in clothing, games, or playmates, and verbalization of a wish to be of the other sex.
Some experts used to believe that gender variance represented abnormal development, but today many have come to believe that children with gender-variant behaviors are normal children with unique qualities -- just as children who develop left-handedness are normal.
What if there were more than two?
People who feel they don't fit perfectly into the popular culture's definitions of "male" and "female" sometimes lament that our binary gender system is too limiting. Australian cultural anthropologist Sharyn Graham Davies explores a culture that recognizes five distinct genders in her book "Challenging Gender Norms: Five Genders Among the Bugis in Indonesia." These include makkunrai (feminine woman), calabai (feminine man), calalai (masculine female), oroané (masculine man), and bissu (embodying both male and female energies, revered as a shaman).
Davies writes of the Bugi belief -- contrary to much of Western thought -- that one's gender, even if different from one's biological sex, is unalterable, predetermined by God. One calalai explained, "If your kodrat (fate) is to be calalai, you have no option but to be calalai." -- S.H.
Resources
Outreach Program for Children with Gender-Variant Behaviors and Their Families
Children's National Medical Center
www.dcchildrens.com/gendervariance
The Family Acceptance Project
Parent Group at Children's Hospital Oakland
Stephanie Brill, facilitator
e-mail: sbrill@california.com
TransYouth Family Advocates
Sarah Hoffman is a Bay Area writer. She can be reached at sarah_hoffman@yahoo.com.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
"Sexuality in Transsexual & Transgender Individuals"
Here is the conclusion from Harper Jean Tobin's undergraduate honor's thesis (Oberlin College):
The published literature on sexuality among transitioning trans people has historically been dominated by the works of psychiatrists, psychologists and surgeons. These works have been and continue to be notable for their assumptions of pathology among trans people, their inattention to sexual diversity in this population, and their serious methodological limitations. The few published works by trans people -- autobiographies aimed at winning acceptance from gender-normative audiences -- generally conformed to the stereotypes promulgated in the clinical literature. As recently as the mid-1980s, trans people were depicted as generally asexual or even sex-phobic, heterosexual to the extent that they were sexual, and focusing their sexual practices narrowly towards affirming their chosen gender identity.
In recent decades, epidemiologists, sociologists and historians have added to the available professional literature on trans experience, and sexuality in particular. Most notable, however, has been the burgeoning of popular literature addressing trans experience, especially literature produced by and directed towards trans people themselves, including autobiographical works, newsletters and magazines, and web pages, as well as artistic productions such as novels, erotic stories, and films. Particularly since the early 1990s, this literature has begun to devote significant attention to sexual issues and experiences, and has played the most significant role in articulating a much more complicated picture of trans sexuality.
While there is still no really representative research in this area, sexuality among trans people appears to be in key respects just as diverse as in any other population. Contrary to the assertions of early researchers, there is increasing evidence that there is great variation in sexual orientation among trans people, and some research even points to bi- or homosexual trans people outnumbering heterosexual ones (though these unexpected findings remain to be confirmed by more and better studies). Trans people engage in the full range of human sexual practices, not necessarily limited by gender identity or surgical status, including celibacy, manual and oral sex, penetrative and receptive anal and vaginal intercourse, the use of sex toys, BDSM and various kinds of sexual role-playing, casual sex, and sex work. The intersection of questions of gender identity and sexual practice, particularly at the site of the genitals, however, does produce some issues and experiences that seem to be either unique to trans experience or more common among trans people.
Most centrally, the gap between self-understanding and physical sex experienced by transitioning trans individuals presents a problem for sexual activity. The literature shows several different strategies employed by trans individuals to deal with this problem:
1) Avoid sexual activity altogether. This strategy sidesteps the problem altogether, and is strongly emphasized in the medical and clinical psychological literature, though it appears throughout the literature.
2) Limit sexual activity in ways that minimize or avoid experiences of discordance. This may involve focusing sexual activity on partners' bodies and avoiding sexual attention to the trans individual's body altogether, or simply eschewing any form of genital stimulation. This strategy appears throughout the literature and is emphasized in the medical and psychological literature.
3) Remap the body in ways that accord with gender identity. In this strategy, bodily features -- especially the genitals -- that do not accord with one's gender identity by traditional standards are cognitively redefined. Individuals conceive themselves as having conventional bodily features for their gender, only with more or less unconventional configurations (e.g. a large clitoris or small penis). In this way, individuals may be able to enjoy genital sexuality with little or no anxiety. This strategy is reported in recent social-scientific and autobiographical literature.
4) Reconceive binary gender categories so that no discord is experienced between the sexual body and gender identity. In this strategy, bodily features -- especially the genitals -- conventionally defined as belonging to one gender can be accepted as features of members of the "opposite" gender (e.g. penis and testes in a woman, vulva and vagina in a man). This strategy is mentioned very occasionally in the clinical literature, and appears frequently in recent autobiographical and popular literature.
5) Reject binary gender categories altogether. In this strategy, the trans individual identifies as being in neither the male nor the female category exclusively, and is thus able to see their non-traditional physical configuration as unproblematic. While this strategy was not specifically reported in the literature on sexuality among transitioning individuals, it has been described with increasing frequency in the broader trans population (as in Feinberg's groundbreaking novel Stone Butch Blues [1993/2003]), and discussions in trans-oriented Internet forums and print periodicals suggest it is an emerging phenomenon among some pursuing physical transition. These individuals may not conceive of transition as most do -- as a transition from living in one gender to living in another -- but rather as seeking specific physical changes which may enable greater personal comfort and the articulation of a gender identity that challenges binary categories. Others (like Feinberg's protagonist and the author hirself) may initially see their transition as conventially FTM or MTF, but subsequently identify as genderqueer or "other."
Potential implications of this problem turn up in almost every area of sexual experience. Supportive and understanding partners may help individuals to become more comfortable with their apparent mind/body incongruity, and trans people's choice of other trans people as romantic and sexual partners may in many cases be related to expectations of greater understanding and comfort. Sexuality can be not only a site of anxiety about identity, but also a site for identity development and affirmation, as reported by BDSM practitioners and some FTMs who had sexual experiences with natal males. Trans populations have been identified as particularly at risk for HIV infection, for reasons related to many trans people's anxieties about their genitals as well as the effects of social marginalization. Trans individuals are considered to be at higher than average risk for sexual violence; experiences of sexual violence, or fears of experiencing sexual violence, may heighten trans individuals' body dysphoria.
The "transgender paradigm shift towards free expression" may be reflected in a kind of generational shift in trans people's feelings about and experiences of sexuality, with more young trans people adopting the third, fourth and fifth strategies described above, though many (perhaps most) may still adopt the first and second strategies. If this is so, it is possible in significant part because in the last generation trans individuals have had access not only to a professional literature that delineates a rather narrow picture of trans people's sexuality, but also an increasingly diverse array of trans voices speaking about their own sexual feelings and experiences (as well as increasingly better published research).
In what follows, I have attempted to explore many of these questions through a unique study of sexual experiences in a trans sample.
Footnotes1 - For a discussion of popular media treatment of Jorgsensen, see Denny 1998; for a discussion of transgenderism in contemporary talk shows, see Gamson 1998.
2 - Since the publication of the work discussed here, Devor has made a gender transition and now writes under the name Aaron H. Devor (personal communication).
3 - Unfortunately, this forthcoming publication came to my attention only 24 hours before my thesis was due, so I was not able to offer an in-depth analysis of Bailey's theory or his methods.
4 - Not long after that sentence was published, Califia (who, incidentally, also wrote one of the first books on lesbian sex -- see Califia 1980) changed his name to Patrick, started on hormones, and had a child with his FTM lover (see Califia-Rice 2000, Califia 2002).
